The End is Nigh

To you,
(Class of 2013),
a little ways down the road,

If time machines haven’t been invented yet and if you get a chance to read this, I want you to remember one particular date – May 11^th, 2013 AD. What is so special about this particular date? There’s no need to wade through the numerous memories you’ve accumulated over the years, in search of this particular date. I’ll make your task much easier!

(If you happen to be hard-pressed for time, feel free to read only the words highlighted in red.)

Do the words “Farewell Function” ring a bell in some distant corner of your mind? No? Then, allow me to refresh your memory. Know first, that I am a younger version of your good self…so, in essence, it’s me…yeah ME! Secondly, know that you have full liberty to click on any image that follows, in order to feast your eyes on equivalent High-Resolution renditions.

Not in the mood to read? Hakuna Matata! Why didn’t you say so earlier? I managed to stumble upon some footage captured, during this farewell function, by an (un)reliable source who was kind enough to share it with me. What’s surprising is the fact that this footage includes video clips that were taken 2 seconds before every photo was clicked! What am I talking about? See for yourself, by clicking here.

A week after I had attended a farewell party put together by my juniors, I had the pleasure of attending a farewell function organized by the powers that be of RVCE. Suits and sarees were the order of the day. During the days leading to this occasion, many moments had been spent in deciding what one would wear on this auspicious day. Shops and tailors were the most sought after. After all, every final year student wanted to look as dashing as could be!

Over the years, we had stood witness to our seniors’ farewell functions, always wondering when our turn would arrive. Well, that day was finally here…and it arrived way too soon (or so it seemed).

May 11^th was that sultry day. Dressed in dashing attires and armed with cameras, we, the final year students of (not only) RVCE CSE, passed through the gates of RVCE on the morning of this auspicious day, to attend a function, organized by members of the staff, who would “officially” bid adieu to us.

The function began with breakfast in the Diamond Jubilee hostel – that very place where, long long ago, in September 2009 AD, we (along with our parents) had had breakfast on Inauguration day (remember?). Symbolic, ain’t it?

After everyone’s hunger had been satiated, they headed to the field that lies beside the old sports complex, to examine the marquee that had been set up. As they drew nearer, teachers beckoned them to quicken their pace so that the function could be declared open.

My friends and I hurried into the marquee to find suitable seats from where we could get a splendid view of the proceedings. The HODs of all departments of RVCE occupied the chairs on the dais, along with the principal and the chief guest. Quotations were the order of the day, and the director of the Placement Department (who, as a matter of fact, was the host of this programme) had a plethora of quotes to share with the students who would be “leaving the portals of RVCE” in the not too distant future.

The outstanding students of each department were called on stage, so that they could share their memories of RVCE with the audience. Be it the “That was Then” speech, made by (the) “Dude” from http://www.youtube.com/user/CantStandIngineering?feature=watch. or the “Constructed speech” by the “Civil Guy” (pun intended) or the “Speech that sounded like a Debate” by the debater of RVCE CSE or Tubelight’s “Aaj kuch tufani karte hai Speech”, every speech did a remarkable job of guiding us along memory lane, so to speak; besides, of course, flaunting reasons of why one’s department was better than the rest, if not the best! These outstanding students were also suitably rewarded, and there was also a special prize set aside for the outstanding student of RVCE (taking all departments into account), who was none other than Jimmy Neutron from RVCE CSE.

After this, there was a prize distribution ceremony for the members of various clubs and teams of RVCE. By this time, the only people who remained to watch the prize distribution were a few staff members, the dignitaries on the dais, and, of course, those who had or were about to receive prizes.

The others had departed for greener pastures (other corners of the field) in the not too distant past, and major photo sessions were in progress. SLR cameras; point-and-shoot cameras; mobile-phone cameras; analogue cameras – every sort of camera ever invented, could be discerned if one looked closely. If Icarus had decided to fly over RVCE on this day, he would have surely jumped to the conclusion that some sort of fashion photo-shoot was in progress.

Every so often, one could hear the words “Say Cheese”. Group photos; photos with teachers and other members of the staff; photos with the security guards; photos of couples; photos with dogs; photos of individuals that had the potential of being turned into profile pictures on Facebook; spontaneous photos; premeditated photos – all kinds of photos were being clicked by those trigger-happy fingers. If one had even the remotest intention of becoming a fashion photographer one day, now was the time to experiment and nurture that aspiration!

After hundreds of photos had been clicked, it was time for everyone to head to the steps leading to the building that houses the Biotech, MCA, ISE, and IT departments. Now was the time when students of every class and their respective teachers, with faces lit by big smiles, stood together on these steps and allowed a “professional” photographer to take a class photo, which would find its way into Spandana – RVCE’s Annual Magazine, for posterity…and it might come as a shock to you, but the Principal chose to grace our class photos with his delightful presence. So, in essence, this year, the editors of Spandana can be spared the hassle of adding his image to photos using Photoshop, contrary to what happened last year (as rumour has it, of course).

Once this “official” photo session was complete, it was time for the students to take even more photos, and thus, ensued another vigorous photo session, similar to the one mentioned a few paragraphs ago.

Unbearable Heat

The Sun had no intention of being slightly lenient on this occasion. We had to take (or pose for) photos underneath the scorching heat of the sun, and the prospect of clouds protecting us from the sun’s wrath seemed pretty bleak. Most got rid of their coats and ties, but some who felt rather photogenic that day, decided to bear their hardships for a worthier cause.

If I failed to mention a curious incident that occurred now, I’d be committing a grave injustice. Feeling as hot as a furnace, I chose to remove my coat near the main canteen and place it on my hand. I felt a bit cooler but not completely so. Anyway, my friends and I walked away from this spot, towards the CS department. 15 minutes later, when we reached our destination, a guy (who is fondly known as Spring) drove up to us on his Bullet. He stopped beside me and asked me for my phone. I wondered why he wanted my phone. He repeated his request, adding “Didn’t you miss your phone?”. And then, it suddenly dawned on me – MY PHONE WAS INSIDE MY COAT POCKET. Panic-stricken, I fumbled through the pockets of my coat, but to no avail. The conclusion I came to, was inevitable – My phone had slipped out of my pocket somewhere, and I knew not where. Would I have to retrace my steps? Was it stolen already? What about the important data it contained? I was saved the trouble of finding answers to these questions when Spring took out my phone from his pocket and handed it to me. Boy, was I relieved – it had been such a close call! I thanked him profusely. However, he brought to my attention the fact that someone else (probably a student from the Mechanical Department) had stumbled upon my phone near the main canteen, and had rung up the last dialed number, which belonged to none other than Spring himself, who drove to his location, retrieved the phone and returned it to its rightful owner. Who this good Samaritan was OR how this good Samaritan had unlocked my phone which was locked with a key-pattern are mysteries I haven’t been able to solve yet! Dear Good Samaritan, if you’re reading this, here’s a message from me: “I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. I will find you and I will reward you suitably! Thank you so much! 🙂 “

By 1330 hours IST, the crowd had thinned and everyone was exhausted. Those who had waited till now to take photos with teachers, had missed the opportunity forever, for the teachers were nowhere to be found (This can be attributed to the fact that it was a Saturday, and as is customary, Saturdays are half-days in RVCE).

It was time for lunch. Most classes of most departments had already decided where to go for their (perhaps) very last rendezvous, and RVCE CSE was no exception. I don’t know about other departments (for reasons best left unknown), but the students of RVCE CSE (B Section) decided to grace “Andhra Spice” in Rajarajeshwari Nagar with their presence. So, that is where they headed, at around 1400 hours IST.

Not being particularly fond of spicy food, I took the only non-spicy item in this hotel (which has been so aptly called “Andhra Spice”) which happened to be ice-cream! The others had sumptuous meals, and the third episode of photo sessions ensued.

Following this, many of us called it a day and headed home. However, there were some who were still not satisfied. They needed something more memorable. So, they did what any other person in the same situation would do – they headed to GoPub (a new pub in Gopalan Arcade). By popular demand, I’ve been requested not to post any photos here, but I can tell you that this was extremely memorable for those who chose to grace GoPub with their presence.

Rumour has it that these folks ordered more than 6 towers of beer, and danced all night long. Those who had visited the pub just out of curiosity, drank only Fruit Punch. One guy said that he wouldn’t drink since he had to attend an interview the next day. As it turns out, the temptation to drink was too much to bear and well, the rest is history. They were even joined by a final year student from the Mechanical department (whom we’ll call…uhmm, let me see now….Tony Stark…yes, that’s it…Tony Stark), who had got drunk before he entered this pub. He danced like a lunatic and what’s more; he preferred to dance with lemons in his mouth…yup, you read that right…lemons in his mouth! Tony Stark encouraged others to join him in this “bitter-sweet” activity (as he liked to call it), and the others did so. Needless to say, the next morning he woke up at home with a swollen leg, aching knee-caps, a stiff neck and a sore throat.

What happened to all the photos taken throughout the day, you ask? Well, as I recall, over the next few days, your Facebook News Feed was flooded with everyone’s photos – not ten, not twenty, but hundreds of them. Profile Pictures were being changed left, right and centre. If that wasn’t enough, the number of notifications you received for all the photos you were tagged in; the people who liked the photos you were tagged in; the people who commented on the photos you were tagged in; (the list goes on and on); would have made any statistician proud. And if you were, in fact, the uploader, then woe unto thee if you uploaded more than hundred photos, for you would have to wade through hundreds of never-ending notifications. I know of one person who thought he was doing a great service to everyone by uploading photos in episodic format with around 38 photos per episode. How well that scheme turned out is something I still have to uncover!

And the rest, as they say, is history…or is it?

Did I mention that on the night of our farewell function, it rained heavily? Did Mother Nature know that the end was near? Was she crying because the end was nearing? The end? Is it really? I find it rather hard to believe…and I’d rather not believe it at all…Nah!! This ain’t the end…is it? Is it?

The Memory of this day, was frozen in time by
Me…yeah ME!

Mass Bunk: A Moment to Forget?

After witnessing the curious expeditions of a dog trotting from one classroom to the next in search of…uhmmm…inner peace, while occasionally standing on its hind legs; or a session in which a teacher was reprimanded (in the most diplomatic manner possible) by students for his “hostile” attitude, sparked off by a very curious incident related to the rather daunting task of bringing a projector to life, the details of which I’ll leave for another article in the not too distant future; and a twig suspended by a rope from that very same projector I mentioned earlier, with the intention of providing other students the opportunity of bringing this projector to life – one might ask oneself, “How crazy could life in RVCE CSE get?”

If this question has been giving you nightmares or sleepless nights, then I have the perfect remedy for your ailment. Just sit down (if you aren’t already) and yup…you guessed it…let me tell you a tale like none you have ever heard before…

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Date: 1130 hours IST, February 17, 2012 AD

Venue: Area in and around RVCE CSE, RVCE, Bangalore.

Mission Objective: Mass Bunk

Class: RVCE CSE ‘A’, ‘B’

 

The scene that confronted me bore a remarkable resemblance to the scene I had encountered on October 30^th, 2010 AD – https://jinkchak.wordpress.com/2010/10/30/a-moment-to-remember-mass-bunk/.

“History, it is said, repeats itself. Few but are reminded almost every day of something that has gone before,” and if I didn’t know any better, I would say it was déjà vu. But, whatever the case may be, one thing was certain – the students standing in front of the RVCE CSE department hadn’t the slightest inclination to attend classes today – especially the DBMS class.

I won’t bore you with unnecessary details. Instead, let me share with you the bits and pieces of words and sentences that were fortunate enough to be picked up by me…yeah ME!

• “If we bunk now, we will have a very long weekend – almost four days!!”
• “I’m going to attend…”
• “We’ll be suspended…And we won’t be allowed to write our tests.”
• “I’ve bunked too many classes.”
• “I don’t know. Every time this happens…”
• “If everyone bunks, I’ll bunk…”
• “Hmmmm…This cup-of-noodles is delicious!”
• “Why can’t they make up their minds?”
• “I don’t care!”
• “Stop them! They’re going to class!”
• “Hey. Don’t go there! The teacher will see…Please dude…Convince them not to go.”
• “Come. Let’s go to the Arcade and watch ‘Ghost Rider’. It’s at 12:30.”
• “I don’t want any part of this…”
• “Wait! Wait!”
• “Hey! Get me some chips! I’m hungry.”

“Why are we bunking one day after the HOD spoke to us?” – Now, to understand the hidden meaning in this question, let us rewind to 24 hours earlier.

We were in class, listening to…I dunno…stuff about Management, when all of a sudden, the HOD barges into class with a notice in his hands. He tells us about stuff we shouldn’t do in college, such as carrying phones to class; carrying expensive IPads; not wearing ID cards, etc. Before departing, he makes it a point to tell us that if we mass bunk, then everyone would be marked absent.

Coming back to the current state of affairs, it was clear that some people intended to find out if the HOD was a man of his word…

At 1145 hours IST, while some students were still contemplating, others started shouting, “HOD! HOD! Run! Run!” This warning was enough. Everyone started scurrying in different directions. It was later found out that this was a false alarm and that the person who had tricked us hadn’t read Aesop’s Fables, but the shout had achieved its objective – The Mass Bunk was finally in progress…

Some students went to watch a movie in Gopalan Arcade; others began playing cricket/football in the field next to RVCE CSE; still others went out to have a sumptuous lunch while some even went home. All in all, it was a truly satisfying moment for everyone, and everything would have been just fine had the HOD not chosen to come back to the department after his unknown excursion, when students were playing in the field.

On catching sight of his silhouette under the blazing afternoon Sun, the players stopped playing and ran for their lives. Perhaps this story might have been different if these folks hadn’t run…but, alas, run, they did!

The HOD grew suspicious. On contacting his sources, he received intelligence that a mass bunk had occurred. His anger knew no bounds. No sooner had he entered his cabin than he asked his secretary for a list of phone numbers and then, picked up the ancient phone lying on his desk, and started making calls.

Fortunately or unfortunately, the HOD decided to trouble only the students of ‘A’ section. He rang them up and called them back to college. Somehow, only a few phone calls were enough to bring back half of the students of ‘A’ section. Now, I must mention a particularly noteworthy incident:

The third person whom the HOD called, answered the call only after a long time, and when he did, the HOD said, “Hello!” to which the former, whom we’ll call Nightcrawler for the time-being, replied, “You, talking to me?”

“Of course I am! Are you Nightcrawler?” asked the HOD.

“Yes! May I know who you are?”

“I’m your HOD speaking!” Hearing this, Nightcrawler turned pale, and he knew exactly what the HOD would say next. “Where are you? Why aren’t you in class?”

“I’m in college, Sir. I’ll come to class in 2 minutes,” replied Nightcrawler.

“Well. Come back fast!” and with those words of wisdom, the HOD cut the call.

Now, everything would have been fine. But there was only one problem. Nightcrawler was in Majestic, after travelling in a bus from RVCE for the past one hour. Only a miracle or a teleportation device could save him now, but Nightcrawler was determined not to let the HOD down. So, he got down from the bus he was in, and boarded a bus that was headed towards RVCE. He reached an hour later, but he was just in time. It was 1323 hours IST. He ran to his class, and was just in time to say, “Present, Sir!” for which he received full attendance…

Meanwhile, at 1245 hours IST, a few students from ‘B’ section, quite unaware of what had taken place, were standing in the queue at the ticket counter of Gopalan Arcade, eagerly waiting to purchase movie tickets. At 1250 hours IST, it was finally their turn to buy tickets. The student, who had taken the responsibility of buying the tickets, went up to the cashier.

“Ghost Rider 2,” said he, to the cashier. At the same time, the phone in his friend’s pocket vibrated.

The cashier entered “Ghost Rider” into the computer in front of him, and asked, “How many?”

The friend with the phone was busy reading the message that was the cause of the vibration mentioned earlier.

“S…” and before the buyer could finish, his friend shouted, “WAIT! WAIT! Don’t buy! Don’t buy!”

The person who had been appointed as the buyer of tickets, stood paralyzed for a moment, as his friend imparted the cause of this sudden craziness.

It turned out that a few minutes earlier, a few students of ‘B’ section had entered the department and headed to their class with the intention of finding out if classes were being held or not. The sound of their retreating footsteps could be heard after they realized that the class was empty.

But, along the way, they were spotted by the HOD, who walked up to them and bid them attend their class, while he informed the respective teacher (Black Mamba) to continue her task of teaching – it was later found that she was having an early lunch after she realized that a mass-bunk was in progress…

The movie-going gang dropped their movie plans and rushed to college. They turned up ten minutes later, and one-by-one, other groups of students started entering the class. The students, who had spent time in the hostel and were on their way home, were dumbfounded when they realized that the mass bunk had failed. They rushed to class and were astonished to find that half of the class was anything but empty.

The group of students who turned up last (i.e., five minutes before the end of the class) belonged to that category of students that always adheres to one rule: “Nothing and No one shall ever interrupt one’s lunch”. They were one of the first people to receive news that the mass bunk had failed, but that didn’t prevent them from relishing their Chicken Biriyani in RR Nagar, and the best part was they didn’t even lose their attendance.

During that class, Black Mamba’s words passed over my head but the following words of wisdom didn’t: “You people can’t even mass-bunk properly.”

After lunch, the HOD came to our class along with Steve Jobs, and instead of admonishing us for the mass-bunk; he repeated the same stuff he had told us 24 hours ago, with exactly the same adjectives, verbs, parts of speech, etc., but, at no point of time did he utter the words, “Mass-Bunk”. What is this craziness?!

This incident made me realize that if incidents such as these did not occur, then this blog would have been extinct by now. I had no intention of writing this article, but thanks to the “old aka new Godfather’s” suggestion, I did write it!

As I said on that fateful day in October – I, for one, was particularly happy with the fact that this incident provided me with something to write about….A moment to remember -forget if you know what I mean. \(^_^)/

A moment to forget? I really doubt that! 😉

*Disclaimer: There’s a small inkling of a chance that I might have added some masala here and there. So, please, don’t sue me!

Written by
Me…yeah ME!