The Jinkchak Survival Guide to Selecting Global Electives in RVCE

Posted: January 22, 2013 by Jinkchak in RVCE, RVCE CSE, Short Stories
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

At least once in his/her lifetime, every student of RVCE will get the opportunity of choosing what is known as a “Global Elective” – A subject that he/she will have to spend the subsequent semester with. According to the prehistoric rules set down by the powers that be, a student cannot select a subject taught by his/her own department, and electives are allotted according to a “first come, first served” policy, due to limited seats.

global electives

Once upon a time, if you were under the impression that you would have to make a decision about the elective you would choose, after a trial run of one week of attending lectures of the corresponding courses, then your impression was fictitious. In fact, one is supposed to base one’s decision on advice received from one’s seniors or friends, and on rare occasions, a few good-hearted staff members. Eventually, you have to make up your mind at some point and never regret your decision.

You might be intimidated by this rather daunting task. But have no fear, for Jinkchak is here with A Jinkchak Survival Guide – A guide that outlines an algorithm to accomplish the task just described a few sentences ago. Tried but never tested, this guide will surely help you in ways you’ve never dreamed of.

Note: This Greedy algorithm may or may not be efficient.

stoeger_Survival_Guide

1)      It all begins with your being informed about the existence of such a choice during the last few working days of the preceding semester, i.e., just before the lab exams and the study holidays.

2)      If you happen to be keen on enlightenment, read step 3. If not, then don’t bother giving a second thought to these global electives. Go to step 4 directly.

choice-multiple3)      It is at this time that you should attempt to gain as much information as possible about the choices available. Note that the college rarely makes any attempt to share any information other than the names of the subjects. If you manage, by a stroke of luck, to obtain the syllabus books of each and every department of RVCE, well and good!

Whatever the case may be, it all boils down to this, and this is what it all boils down to – after fruitful and fruitless discussions with anyone even remotely associated with RVCE, you will eventually come to a decision depending on whether you want a subject :

  1. that will actually be beneficial to your future, academically.
  2. that is taught by a teacher who is passionate about the subject, whatever it may be!
  3. that can be studied easily only a few hours before an exam. This subject may or may not be beneficial to you in the long run.
  4. that need not be studied at all, since answers in the corresponding exam depend on your writing skills and colourful imagination, or better still, the leniency of the teacher who corrects your answers. Of course, to know that, you should possess the identity of the teacher who handles that subject and that information, my friend, is sometimes hard to come by!
  5. for which the teacher ain’t too bothered about attendance or assignments. Pick this if you have no intention of gracing any class with your all-too-delightful presence.
  6. that has a highly sophisticated name. For the sake of argument, who can resist choosing a subject that possesses the name, “Jinkchak”?
  7. that most of your friends have chosen. I mean, what’s the use of attending a class when you ain’t got your friends to enjoy it with?

Move on to step 4.

4)      Depending on whether you followed step 3 or not, you will be in a state of decision or indecision respectively. You’ll have to remain in this state, for a few days or weeks, until you are informed, through your respective department’s notice boards, to “compulsorily register your global elective”. This event usually occurs when your lab external exams have begun or are due to begin.

two typesKnow that in any department of RVCE, students can be put into 2 categories:

  1. Those who see and follow the orders displayed on the notice board to a T.
  2. Those who see and indirectly follow the orders displayed on the notice board

If you belong to the second category, feel free to skip ahead to step 7. Otherwise, go to step 5. What about those who do not see the notice board, you ask? Well, they wouldn’t have bothered to read this Survival Guide and would have already gone to the last step or closed this tab!

5)      Great! You’ve decided to actually abide by the rules. So, the task of “registering” involves searching for a long hard-bound notebook with ruled-pages, which contains, somewhere in its depths, a table in which you have to fill in your USN, the ID of the elective you’ve chosen as well as your signature. (In the CS department, this awe-inspiring notebook can be found in one of the ground-floor labs).

6)      A few of your classmates (the ones belonging to the second category) might have granted you permission to register for them. If so and if you happen to be in the mood, do the needful. Just scrawl some pattern under the signature column. Even if you consider yourself to be an expert at forgery, don’t waste your time forging any signature, for all your efforts will be in vain and no one will admire your art since the signatures will never be verified.

Go to step 8.

7)      You belong to the second category of students. Thus, your main objective in life is to locate a student who belongs to the first category and bequeath on his shoulders, the task of “registering” on your behalf. After that, sit back (or rather, go wherever you want) and relax, and while you’re relaxing, go to step 8.

8)      Let the memory of your global elective evaporate from your mind. Instead, concentrate on surviving through your lab exams and semester-end exams. When your holidays finally arrive, breathe a sigh of relief and enjoy them, until the condition highlighted in step 9.

rvce updates9)      Two or three days after your holidays begin, you will receive the following news from RVCE Updates (yup, you read that right…not http://www.rvce.edu.in – first of all, no RVCE student checks this website and second of all, even if they do, the website always takes an eternity to load):

“All 6th and 8th semester students of the B.E. programme are required to register for the Global Electives online from 20th-22nd Jan 2013.” If you happen to belong to one of those semesters, you’ll suddenly leap up from wherever you’re seated, and ask yourself, “What Global Elective?” After a minute or two, realization suddenly dawns upon you and the memories come flooding back, and you sit down and exclaim to yourself, “Ah! That Global elective!! But I remember registering for it already. What is this craziness?” Later, you’ll discover that the previous registration info was just used by RVCE to derive a few estimates.

10)   You discover that there are 5 days left till the registration day, so you stop thinking about the global elective for the time-being and continue enjoying your holidays.

11)  Suddenly, two days before the registration day mentioned, you’ll receive the following message from RVCE Updates:

“Please note: According to the new changed notice, the Global Elective Online Selection to start one day early. All 6th and 8th semester students of the B.E. programme are required to register for the Global Electives online from 19th-22nd Jan 2013”. As a result, you’ll realize that the registration day is on the morrow. This is the time you actually wake up from your holiday-induced slumber.

arming1512)  Knowing that electives are allotted according to the “first come, first served” policy, you spend the entire day preparing yourself for your mission. Some of you might desire to have an extra edge over the others – you could, for instance,  immediately purchase a 12 Mbps Internet connection, hoping that you will be able to access the prehistoric servers that host www.rvce.edu.in, faster than your peers. Let your imagination run wild…Remember, there are no bounds in this rat race! Once you are pleased with your preparation, feel free to hit the hay till around 7 AM on the registration day OR stay up all night if you’re scared of over-sleeping.

13)  You might want to have a practice run either on the night before the registration starts OR after you wake up on D-Day at around 7 AM. So, seat yourself in front of your computer and read step 14.

Copyright (C) KK

Copyright (C) KK

14)  Try to access www.rvce.edu.in through your browser. It will come as no surprise to you that this page will take forever to load, even if you managed to get a 12 Mbps connection. Rumour has it that only those whose net connection speeds are less than 64kbps might gain access to the website before those with super-fast connections. Perhaps, RVCE servers have an affinity to slower connections. Remain in this step until the website loads – it might take a few seconds, minutes or hours. (For convenience, henceforth, every time I wish to inform you that you have to wait until a web (RVCE) page loads, I’ll use the wait() function. Once the page loads, continue reading). At regular intervals, keep refreshing (press F5) if it hasn’t loaded yet.

Once the page loads, tap yourself on the back for not giving up, and move on to step 15.

15)  Now that the page has loaded, seek a link to the registration page. Unfortunately, you won’t be able to find any link, no matter how much you search for it. Go to step 16.

16)  Wait patiently (Patience is a virtue) until around 10:30 AM. It is at this time that RVCE Updates will post the following message: “Global Elective selection for 6th and 8th semester is open.
http://www.rvceresults.in/electives/

17)  The moment you see this message, click on the link as if it is a matter of life or death. Know that hundreds of RVCE students would have clicked this link at the same time you did, and you are all contending for access to the same prehistoric RVCE server that cannot even handle a single request properly. The page will not load on the first try, so keep refreshing it. Try until you succeed! If you succeed, go to step 18. If you do not succeed or wish to give up, stop refreshing and go to step 20.

18)  If you gain access to the page within five minutes of RVCE Updates’ message, go to step 19. If you gain access to the page after five minutes, go to step 20.

19)  Congratulate yourself. You will see a registration form appear in your browser. Choose your elective. Go to step 21.

20)  You are too late! You will be greeted by the following message:

12pm

Go to step 22.

21)  You think you’ve accomplished your task with flying colours. So, go to Facebook with the aim of spreading the news of your achievement. Unfortunately, on the verge of sharing your news, you’ll catch sight of some startling news from your friends, in your News Feed: “Electives Selection Modules Will Be Available after 12 PM. What the hell?”

Go back to http://www.rvceresults.in/electives/ to verify this claim. If you manage to gain access, you’ll find that this claim is true and all your previous efforts of registering would have gone in vain. Swallow your pride and go to step 22.

22)  Wait until 12 PM RST (where RST = RVCE Standard Time and RST = IST – 9 minutes), which is 12:09 PM IST. Then, go to the next step.

23)  Access http://www.rvceresults.in/electives/ and wait for it to load. If it loads, consider yourself gifted. You’ll be greeted by:

4pm jan

Curse under your breath, and visit Facebook to voice your concerns.

24)  You can choose to wait till 2 PM IST or 4 PM IST before you check http://www.rvceresults.in/electives/ again. Either way, you’ll be greeted by:

21 jan
evil

NOT AGAIN?!!!! Now, you realize that RVCE is messing with you. That’s all you can stand, and you can stand no more!!!

25)  Go to Facebook and you’ll stumble upon statuses similar to this:

“About us on the RVCE website should be changed to (if the admin is able to open it himself): Established in 1963, we have taken oath to use technology that belongs to 1963. It’s an irony that our campus is in the IT capital of India because we have nothing to do with it. You pay us in lakhs or crores, but we are not going to spend a single rupee on anything which remotely means technology. #GoldenJubilee”

Other messages might include:

  • “Protest! Boycott! Rebel! Revolt!”
  • “The selection of global electives is a joke too. It’ll never get done at one time.”
  • “Websites today take up to a million hits in a second..n the coll website cannot cater to a few hundred:/”
  • “guys i request all of you to please send a mail to our dear principal, stating this problem….”

There’s plenty more where they came from, but..uhm… you get the picture! Have a good laugh, and calm yourself down to prevent RVCE from messing with your sanity. Add a message of your own if you like.

26)  Stay in this step until the deadline mentioned, which, in our real-life example, happens to be the 21st day of January. On this auspicious day, go to step 27.

27)  On 21st January, you’ll wake up in the morning and then realize that today’s D-Day II. Close your eyes and hope that the Fates are in a good mood. At 10 AM RST (which is 10:09 AM IST), access http://www.rvceresults.in/electives .

28)    If you’ve gone through the previous steps of this guide, then you’ll already know the drill here. So, (re)load and wait(). Here’s a small tip – If you get absolutely frustrated OR catch sight of the following message:

last

at any time before 12:15 PM IST, feel free to jump to step 34.

29)    Once the website actually loads, keep your fingers crossed. You ain’t finished yet. You will be greeted by a web form that asks you for your name, USN and semester number. On this very same page, you’ll find links to documents containing information about each of the electives. If you try to read them, you might miss out on your opportunity to select an elective. So, fill in the appropriate details and click the submit button. Now, wait().

email-lists30)    One of two things will happen:

  1. You’ll be presented with another form in which you have to enter your e-mail address so that the highly sophisticated servers of RVCE can send a verification mail to your inbox. Enter your e-mail address and Click the submit button. wait(). Then, go to step 31.
  2. You’ll lose your connection to the highly sophisticated servers of RVCE. Reload the page and go to step 28.

ack31)    Again, one of two things will happen:

  1. You’ll be presented with an acknowledgement message, informing you that a verification mail is on its way to your inbox. Go to step 32.
  2. You’ll lose your connection to the highly sophisticated servers of RVCE. Reload the page and go to step 28.

32)    Open your personal e-mail inbox and wait for the aforementioned verification mail. You will find yourself in one of the following situations:

  1. If you actually receive a mail, then consider yourself extremely lucky because few would have reached so far. Congratulate yourself, then click on the link in the verification mail and you will be led to a page where you can select your elective. Go to step 33.
  2. The clock keeps ticking…1 minute…5 minutes…30 verifyminutes….1 hour….2 hours….time goes by. The mail hasn’t arrived yet. Keep alternating between your inbox and spam folders. If you get tired, don’t bother trying to register a different e-mail ID OR requesting the RVCE website to resend the verification mail. Your first request will be denied and there’s no way to ask RVCE to resend that verification e-mail. You’re doomed! Go to step 34 once you’ve figured that the verification e-mail will arrive long after the Earth is devoid of life and vegetation.

33)    One of two things will happen:

  1. As you’ve probably deduced by now, you will be greeted by:
    wtf
    You might find that you have already registered for a course without your knowledge. If that’s the case, just hope that the miraculously chosen elective conforms to your choice.There’s a 0.00000001% chance that you will be greeted by a form that allows you to actually choose your elective. Only a few have seen this mysterious form. Those who have seen it with their own eyes remark that it is magical and awe-inspiring; others say that acquiring this form is equivalent to climbing Mount Everest! I haven’t seen it myself, so I cannot verify their claims.
  2. You’ll lose your connection to the highly sophisticated servers of RVCE. Reload the page and go to step 28.

old phone34)    Welcome, frustrated reader! Wait in this step until the clock strikes 15 minutes past noon because RVCE Updates will publish the following message:
“Call 08067178347 for help on global elective selection.”

35)    As soon as you see that message, pick up your phone and dial that emergency number as if your life depends on it. If the phone is not engaged and is answered (the probability of both these events occurring simultaneously being less than 0.05%), ask for help. If you are fortunate enough not to get scolded by the answerer, you might receive the following response: “Selecting the global elective is pure luck”.

letter-writing36)    Frustrated by this entire higgledy-piggledy affair, go to Facebook and voice out your concerns again, just like you did in step 25. For example, “It’s not the student who chooses the elective…it’s the elective that chooses the student…”.

If you’re in the mood to write a letter to the principal of RVCE, write something along the following lines:

https://www.facebook.com/mpshrinivas/posts/10151274544658773

Excerpt from this award-winning letter: “I would like to bring to your kind notice that just for the sake of registering for a subject students need to wait like hawks in front of, always un-opening or problematic college website.” 

37) Wait for a reply from the Principal of RVCE. The reply will resemble the following:

Dear ABC

Thanks for your inputs. We shall get back to you soon. We understand that on account of the sudden preponement of the college, there has been changes in the processes. Adding to the woes of the student is the net crashing. We shall discuss among ourselves and try to see how we can improve the process. The electives are definitely meant to be by choice and not by chance. You are all welcome to give suggestions of a process that could be honest, transparent, also simple to implement and with limited hassels to the students. As we see that most process seems to have one or other problem int he last few years. We thought online would be better than some one manupulating the list when written.

With Best Wishes
XYZ
Principal

38)    Ok. Breathe a sigh of relief. At least now, the authorities have heard about your problem and will take necessary action to relieve your stress. You don’t have to worry anymore…All your problems have been solved, but wait…It’s still around 1 PM IST. Wait till around 9 PM RST and then, go to step 39.

39)    It doesn’t matter whether you access RVCE Updates or http://www.rvce.edu.in. Either way, you’ll receive the following heart-breaking news:
“Due to technical problems the on-line registration could not be completed. It has been decided to have the registration process on campus. The date and schedule for Global elective registration will be announced on 29th Jan 2013. We regret the inconvenience caused to the students.”

frustrated copy

40)   Some of you might be in the following state:

kannada

There might be some students who were completely unaware of the existence of Global Electives and this selection process. I envy them very much since they wouldn’t have been tormented so much by RVCE and its website.

You must be thinking to yourself, “Why was I tormented so much? Why did I even have to bother?” Then, out there, as you look at the stars in the night sky, you’ll realize that every cloud has a silver lining (figuratively). Look at it this way – This Global Elective Fiasco was a great get-together for RVCE Students. Even long lost RVites who never bothered to come online on other occasions, would have come online during this mega-event.

By the way, it’s supercalifragilisticexpialidocious that after surviving through all this, you still haven’t managed to register your global elective…

waiting

All Hail http://www.rvceresults.in/electives/

You can find similar articles by subscribing to our blog OR by liking RVCE Stories only on Facebook @ https://www.facebook.com/RvceStories , where we unravel the intricacies of RVCE. Stay Tuned!

Disclaimer: All Facebook status messages, letters and memes are the properties of their respective owners. No copyleft infringement intended. This “Jinkchak Survival Guide” is the property of The 21st Century Me…yeah ME! Production Company, but is free for non-commercial use.

Comments
  1. kushal30 says:

    i think rvce does all this bcuz u can write survival guides.. btw how the F on earth did u get all these “copy lefted” materials?

    • Jinkchak says:

      “RVCE does all this because I can write survival guides”…Lol…I never thought of it that way, but that’s a very optimistic way of looking at it! And as for the “copy-lefted” materials, the status messages were captured during my surveillance of the Facebook market; the memes belong to RV Memes, The 21st Century Me…yeah ME! Production Company OR KK; the letters between ABC and the principal were published by ABC publicly; any other images were obtained from Google Image Search. Hope that this answers your question and no one tries to sue Jinkchak for copyleft infringement. Alright….You can clearly deduce that I have gone nuts after following this survival guide, so I think I’ll make myself scarce!! 😛

  2. John Doe says:

    JinkChak, write a guide for faculty to survive the students’ anger.

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