The X-Files

Posted: June 8, 2010 by Jinkchak in RVCE, RVCE CSE, Short Stories, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!!!

The semester end examination results were published yesterday at 1800 hours IST, much before schedule. Here’s the whole story behind it.

An unreliable source informed us about a conversation that took place in the early hours of Monday, June 7th, 2010. Here’s the source’s account of what took place:

In a room on the second floor of the administrative office of RVCE, two people are having a conversation over a cup of coffee (or tea; the source couldn’t make out the contents of the cups clearly because the room wasn’t well lit, but the source managed to get samples of the beverages which have been sent to the chemistry lab for qualitative analysis, which will be carried out by people well-versed with Psychology). One of the persons is a tall man with a strong build like Sylvester Stallone in Rambo. The other is of medium height and has a squeaky voice like that of Chip n’ Dale. Their faces are well hidden in the shadows cast by the objects in the well-furnished room.

They are chatting with each other aimlessly, when all of a sudden, the tall one puts his cup down on the table with a force not enough to break it. He says, “Look at the students of our college. Just look at them! From September 1st, 2009, to June 4th, 2010, we really made it hell for them, with all the internals and tests. We ensured they had no peace and no time to spare. They now have 3 months of holidays. We really had fun ruining their joy during the previous two semesters. It was a herculean task, but we managed it, all thanks to me. But now they have 3 months of peace….3 months, I say. Can you believe it? 3 months….3 months, that’s almost 90 days. And now, even Khodu isn’t there to torture the students of the Computer Science Department. He knew how to deal with these situations. I wish I were him! He taught me a lot. I have no clue what this new Khodu is doing. What should we do? I can’t bear to see them having fun.”

The squeaky one replies, “I agree. Khodu was one of the best. His methods were highly innovative. But I have a brilliant idea. Maybe Khodu’s charm must have rubbed off on me. The marks of the SEE have already been calculated. They are to be published tomorrow. Let’s publish the results today itself in the evening. We cannot afford to lose more time. We cannot take the risk of having the students enjoy one more day of peace. Put it on the website at 1800 hours IST today. This will surely destroy their peace….HAHAHAHAHA.”

“You’re absolutely right. You’re a genius. Why didn’t I think of that before? I have some more points to add. I have this notion that once the students hear that the results are out, they’ll be filled with tension. Here’s the plan. Put the results on the most useless server we’ve got here – I mean the slowest and the worst system we’ve got, so that when thousands of them try to access it at once, it will crash and they will have to wait a long time to see their results. Let them see a lot of error messages. In this way, they will sweat a bit more and they’ll get more tensed…HAHAHA.”

“Yes. Yes. This is so brilliant…hehehehe…And do not calculate their SGPA. Let them calculate it for themselves. Let them waste some more time. You see, in this way, they’ll spend most of the night on the RVCE website and lesser time having fun, watching movies and playing games,” the squeaky one says, rubbing his hands together in glee, with laughter similar to that which Voldemort usually uses.

After reaching this agreement, they get up; shake hands and part ways, as two partners in crime.

Later, the unreliable source confirmed that everything happened just as they had planned. The unreliable source saw them later in the same room they were in earlier, in the administrative office, celebrating, happy that their mission had been completed successfully. The lighting was still no good, so the source couldn’t get a good look at their faces. The source heard the tall one tell the squeaky one, in a hushed tone, “Our task is not over yet. There’s more to plan, and miles to go before we sleep and miles to go before we sleep. We have to come up with some more ideas to ruin their 3 months of holidays.”

“We’ll discuss that tomorrow. Right now, there’s a matter of national importance. Have you heard of anyone called Octopus Paul?” asks the squeaky one.

“No. Why?”

“It’s the latest craze now. Everyone’s trying to find out who he is. Would you help with the investigation?”

“Sure. I’d be glad to. Tell me all you know.”

“We’ll discuss everything tomorrow.” He looks around the room, and then turns back. “The walls have ears, you know.I would also like you to ask those office guys if they think they are working in some kind of joke factory. Why is it that when I search for “B.I.Khodanpur’s” photo on Google Image search, I end up getting the new HOD’s photo. What is this craziness? I’m a very emotional person and this hurts my sentiments a lot.”

“Yes. Yes. It hurts me too. I will look into the matter. The offenders will be dealt with very severely. You can rest assured that no one will get away with this craziness…yeah CRAZINESS.”

That was all that the source managed to hear. Luckily, the source could take a few photos of the meeting. The unreliable source didn’t manage to get their identities, all because of the bad lighting. But sooner or later, the answers are bound to come out…

** I know you’re tired of this disclaimer, but nothing can be done about it. So, here it is. “All disputes are subject to RVCE Jurisdiction only.”

**The photo at the beginning of this articles is the only clear one among those taken by the unreliable source.

*SEE = Semester End Exam

  1. Anonymous says:

    very nice …. keep it up 🙂

  2. Anonymous says:


  3. Anonymous says:

    hilarious shit dude/dudette 😛
    keep updating more stuffs 😀

  4. Mr. Me...yeah ME! says:

    Thanks dude/dudette! Watch out for more updates! 🙂

  5. s says:

    awwwsome!! love it. keep posting! :*

  6. Anonymous says:

    voldemort does not laugh!!

  7. […] The RVCE X-Files Trilogy […]

  8. […] I’m looking for…) extraordinary experiences outlined in Selecting Global Electives in RVCE, The X-Files I and Pulp Fiction, and this was no exception to the rule. So, it was with utmost anxiety that […]

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