NEWS – EPISODE 5 (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!)

Posted: July 3, 2010 by Jinkchak in Short Stories


http://www.odeo.com/flash/audio_player_standard_gray.swf

Before going further, let me first introduce you to the player above. Thanks to Odeo.com, I was able to embed an audio file I had uploaded to upload-mp3.com. To play this file, you require Adobe Flash player 10, which you can download at http://www.adobe.com/products/flash/ or by clicking here

The audio was recorded and edited, using Audacity v1.2.6, which can be downloaded at http://audacity.sourceforge.net/ or by clicking here.

The music was originally composed by James Horner. It’s from the movie “A Beautiful Mind”, released in 2001 AD. This piece was played by me…yeah ME! on a Casio CTK-5000 Keyboard, in the scales of D Major and B Major. Enjoy!

Now, what are you waiting for? Click the play button….

If the player is not visible, click here

2010 (C*) Copyleft Me…yeah ME! Productions. This General Public License does not permit incorporating your program into proprietary programs. For any clarifications, write to rvce.cs.b.2013@gmail.com

************************************************************************************

The Story Begins

The reporter went on reading Praveen Hall’s diary. It proved to be quite an interesting feat. It was a good thing that Praveen had gone to collect some important documents, leaving the reporter enough time to read the contents of his diary. The reporter came to the page dated June **, ****. This is what was written…

The Cores?

“Super Mario, would you mind getting some ____________?”

“Sure Mom. I’ll get it,” replied a not too cheerful me, that is, Super Mario.

I was playing on my new PC – it was seven years since I had last bought a PC. And boy, was this a monster of a machine. With a Core i7 940 clocked at 3.6 GHz and an XFX GTS 250 graphics card with 128 stream processors and 1 GB of GDDR5 RAM, games were running smoothly with all settings at maximum and full HD. I was just on the verge of completing a mission, when my mom called. I don’t know whether I was startled, but before I could say “Bond…James Bond”, my screen was covered with red…

I switched off the game in sheer frustration, which was to last only for a few seconds. After that, I wanted to restart the game and finish that level I had spent the last hour trying to complete. But hearing my mom’s tone, I realized that that was out of the question. So I just got another idea. (Funny how these ideas get to you when you least expect them to.) A voice in my head said, “You really want to play that game, don’t you?” to which I replied, “Yeah…yeah. And I also need to finish the level in time to watch the match between South Africa and Mexico.”

“Well, since you’re that desperate, here’s an idea. Walking is a waste of time. With the footpaths being the way they are, walking is as dangerous as driving. So, why don’t you go on your sister’s scooty and get things done faster.”

“Hey, that’s not a bad idea.”

And so, I ran out before my mother could ask me anything more. I jumped on my sister’s scooty and set out to complete my mission. I had no license and I wasn’t wearing a helmet, but I didn’t care. The advantages certainly beat the disadvantages!

I met no trouble along the way. There was no traffic in sight and the atmosphere was pleasant – the cool atmosphere one encounters after a heavy downpour of rain. The streets were wet, and the smell of the environment filled me with glee. I knew that most people were at home, eagerly waiting for the match to begin. I felt I was a…well, what can I say……right now, no proper word comes to my mind, so let’s just say, I felt I was a “Kite”. Perhaps, this nomenclature derives its inspiration from the movie “Kites”.

Everything was calm. Just like the calm before a storm. For a moment, I forgot my PC waiting for me at home. I just wanted to drive.

The voice in my head said, “You can take the scenic route home. It will take only a few more minutes.”

So, I took the longer “scenic” route home. (I don’t wish to describe what “scenic” means here. You’ve got to see for yourself.)

And that’s the biggest mistake I ever made. I must have been intoxicated or something. The longer route was the main road. But it was a lovely main road, with only an occasional vehicle in sight, which was a rare scene indeed. I drove on.

I kept accelerating. I looked at the wet road. I looked at the sky above. I looked at the birds. It was a long time since I had seen anything as majestic. Then I came to a red traffic signal. I stopped and looked around, taking in the sights. I must have been pretty pre-occupied with the sights around me, such as the Café Coffee Day on the right side and the gorgeous beauty present there. The beauty was an Audi Q7. Now what did you think I’m talking about?

I was so enchanted that I didn’t see the cheetah bike with two policemen stop beside me. I didn’t hear one of them get off the bike. It was only when he coughed that I realized the presence of this entity.

Seeing him, my heart skipped not one, but several beats. He came up to me and said, “Hey you.”

I looked at him, and then looked all around me, pretending I didn’t know who he was referring to. I pointed a finger to myself and asked, “You, talking to me?”

He twirled his moustache, which happened to be an exact replica of Veerappan’s. He was a tall, hefty man. Had you accompanied me, you might have acquiesced that he bore a slight resemblance to the famous Shankar…Auto Shankar. He held a half-eaten apple in his left hand. Hearing me, he inched even closer to me, bit off another piece of the apple and with his booming voice, spat out the following words, “Yes buster. I’m talking to you…Yeah you. Bring your scooty over to the side.”

He paused awhile, so that I could take out my handkerchief and clean my face of his apple-enriched saliva, before bringing the scooty to the side of the road.

Right now, I wouldn’t protest if you said that I had a premonition because I knew what was coming next. ”May I see your driving license please?”

My mind was swirling. The world around me was swirling out of proportion. I didn’t see the calmness I had experienced earlier. The chirping of the birds seemed like some loud irritating music. The smell of the environment no longer seemed pleasant. In fact, for no rhyme or reason, it suddenly had the smell of burnt rice. Just a few minutes ago, I had been playing a relatively peaceful computer game. I had taken the scooty to save time. Alas, that very purpose had just been defeated.

He snatched away my key. But, believe me. I hadn’t the slightest intention of fleeing away. I searched my mind for an answer. I wondered why this thing should happen to me.

I replied, “Sir, I don’t have it right now. But I do have my four-wheeler license.”

“Listen, eediot. Are you stupid? Do you think I am stupid? Give me Rs. 400, and I mean 4 followed by 2 zeroes.”

I was in a real dilemma. The voice that had put me in this situation now remained silent. What a coward!

I just stood frozen, as I watched the other policeman who was busy typing something on his blackberry. He was a squeaky little fellow. He then started making a bill for the fine.

My forehead was drenched with sweat. Seeing me, people would have thought it hadn’t rained in my neighbourhood for quite some time. As I felt each drop of sweat, I suddenly recalled that I had a mobile phone. I immediately took it out and checked the balance. Just my luck! Only Rs. 3.10 was remaining. I dialed my father’s number. I had to listen to the ringing tone for a long while. And all along, the policeman with the apple stood glaring at me. In this whole scenario, I distinctly wondered if this guy had attended the same psychology class as RM. Throughout this time, he was biting off small chunks of his apple.

Finally, my dad picked up the phone. I informed him about what happened. My dad wanted to speak to the policeman. So I gave the blackberry guy the phone. I heard the guy say “K” many times, while nodding his head. Shockingly, his behavior resembled that of one of my teachers. After two minutes, the conversation finally ended. The blackberry guy returned my phone, and my dad told me to pay Rs. 100, instead of 400, besides apologizing for my misdeed. I then hung up. Now, my balance was only Rs. 0.10.

I walked up to the blackberry guy. I apologized as I looked him in the eye. He smiled for the first time, as he told me not to repeat this in the future. He took the 100 rupees and gave me the bill. The guy with the apple continued to glare at me as he said, “Hmmpph.” I wanted to retort, “That’s one hundred rupees, which is 1 followed by 2 zeroes.” But I resisted the temptation.

He got back on the bike. By this time, he had finished biting off pieces from his apple. Only the core was left. Then a thought flashed to him. He threw back his hand, and with all the force he could muster, he flung the core into the air. It was a beautiful throw, for the core, after tracing a beautiful, unbelievable trajectory like the new football in the FIFA World Cup, landed in someone’s cup of cappuccino in Café Coffee Day. The direction of the fall was such that it looked as if the item had fallen from the skies. The customer must have thought that he was a victim of Zeus’ wrath because he immediately ran, as though, for his life, and escaped from Café Coffee Day.

The cheetah then left me standing by my scooty, allowing me to ponder over what had just happened. I’ll leave you guessing as to what ensued later that night, when I reached home…….

Written by
Me…yeah ME!

(The author didn’t experience any of the events mentioned. This story was written with points from an account given by Super Mario.)

*Mr. Me…yeah ME! is grateful to Mr. Bond…Ruskin Bond for stimulating his imagination…

*This story is based on a true incident, but the final article has been distorted out of proportion in such a way that even the person, who originally experienced this incident, will wonder which one is true. The individuals portrayed other than by the main character have been fictionalized and any similarity to real persons is purely coincidental.

*Read at your own risk. Even RVCE Jurisdiction will not be able to aid you. BEWARE.

*ESRB Rating: (RP) Rating Pending.

*2010(C*) Copyleft Me…yeah ME! Productions.

***********************************************************************************************

End of post.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s