The Penultimate Semester Anthology

Posted: January 17, 2013 by Jinkchak in RVCE, RVCE CSE, Short Stories
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

“Much may be done in those little shreds and patches of time which every day produces.” – Charles Caleb Colton

I'm BackYou might be delighted when I acquaint you with the fact that Jinkchak is back from its very long lacuna (lacuna?? I came across this word recently and have been meaning to put it to some use. It does have a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?) and this blog will remain inactive no longer. You might be pondering over numerous reasons for its inactivity, but let me assure you that your doubts will be put to rest after you have perused this article, which happens to be none other than the penultimate episode of the “End-Of-Semester” series.

PenultimateDid I just say, “Penultimate”? I guess I did…That word has just evoked in me, a state of ambivalence. Strange as it may seem, I’m faced with a wave of nostalgia. How did the episodes…(oops! Sorry – Like loads of RV students, I’ve been influenced by TV Shows)…I meant articles/years fly by so quickly? Is there only one (end-of-)semester (article) left before my life at RVCE/Jinkchak actually comes to an end? Seems like only yesterday…but hey, wait a minute! I’m getting ahead of myself. I think I’ll allow this wave of nostalgia to overcome my senses when the word “Penultimate” transforms into “ultimate”, a little ways down the road, if you know what I mean…

moment“A moment comes, which comes but rarely in history, when an age ends, and when the soul of a student, long suppressed, finds utterance.” For the final year students of RVCE CSE, that moment arrived at the stroke of the seventeenth hour of January 12th, 2013 AD, when they witnessed the grand finale of their Semester End Exams. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said about the students of some other semesters and branches, for, you see, they weren’t blessed with the good fortune of having five subjects this semester. Students of some semesters even had seven subjects.

gopalanTo save myself the trouble of constructing a new paragraph to explain what we did to celebrate this merry occasion, I’ll reuse a paragraph from a previous “End-Of-Semester” article: Continuing our unspoken tradition, to celebrate this memorable occasion, we made our way to McDonald’s at Gopalan Arcade. Alas! For the third time in the history of Jinkchak, we failed to catch a flick. Perhaps, we will, at the end of the next semester…

Everyone’s joy was short-lived, however, thanks to the breaking news they had received a few days earlier:

one week

Copyright (C) RV Memes

spongebob

Most Students reacted in this manner

Gee! I wonder when students will begin to feel like this:

Staying in tune with Jinkchak’s semester-ly tradition, let me share with you all the memorable events of the semester just gone by. However, this article has a number of short stories within it (Don’t worry – They are all related to RVCE). So, I’ve decided to allow you, reader, to select which stories you wish to read and the order in which you wish to read them, if you wish to read at all. I present to you Jinkchak’s very own ↓

Anthology of Short Stories:

  1. The Facebook Profile Market
  2. Oppa Gangnam Style
  3. The End of Jinkchak’s Survival Guide
  4. Elevated Fun (An anecdote about the CS Department’s elevator)
  5. Of Juice Centers, Pen Drives, Good Samaritans and Résumés
  6. Proverbs
  7. Of Attendance, Placements and Preparation
  8. Mini-Projects and Assignments

The Facebook Profile Market

facebookIf you thought that Facebook was completely saturated with profiles, pages and groups related to RVCE, then you thought wrong! The best page that came up this semester was the RV Memes page, with its objective of “Trolling RVCE; solely dedicated to ridicule every single aspect of RVCE. IF you’re one of those who cannot stand friendly banter about our college, then, lol!” And just a month after RV Memes was created, RVCE Memes was born, with the description: “A new page. A better idea of fun. P.S We update daily”. Due to the genesis of these two pages, most RVites’ news feeds were flooded with amusing memes trolling RVCE. These pages were also responsible for a number of mirth-filled moments throughout this semester!

Andrew Tenenbaum, the author of a Computer Networks textbook, decided that it was about time that he joined the Social Network to haunt RVCE students. Thus, he joined Facebook. TheFake RvceStudent released a story or two, on his/her blog. RVCE Updates continued providing  – yup, you guessed it – updates about RVCE to its students. As usual, Faking News @rvce continued providing really fake (or fakely real) news about RVCE. The Prism of Life blog enlisted a new member in their team and gave its readers opportunities to look through its prism during the first two months of this semester.

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Oppa Gangnam Style

gangnamAfter “Gangnam Style” had taken the world by storm, its influence could be ascertained within RVCE itself. It proved to be extremely useful as background music while writing data sheets and records in class. Those who carried laptops and phones to class had the added advantage of being able to feast their eyes on the video whenever they found it crucial to satisfy their whims. If you were lucky enough, you could find people practicing those dance moves in various parts of the campus.

gangnam3I would be committing a grave injustice if I didn’t mention a noteworthy incident that took place in a particular final-year class of the ECE department. A few students, including PSY (This is and isn’t a student’s real name – Go Figure! For clarity, I’ll refer to him as PSY Junior) were so invigorated by this Gangnam Style that they got it into their heads that they should experiment with it in class in the presence of a teacher, who was writing on the black-board. And this is exactly what they did. They were lucky to have a handy camera-person who uploaded the results of their endeavours on YouTube and Facebook with the appropriate music. Needless to say, this video became a favourite among RV students, and I daresay, had an infinitesimally miniscule chance of being noticed by the original PSY himself.

Well, the story doesn’t end there, folks. Rumour has it that, so popular did the video become that it was even viewed by a few RV teachers! Unfortunately, this was a bane in disguise for PSY Junior, for, you see, out of all the dancers’ countenances, only his visage could be discerned clearly in the low-resolution video. He was caught the following day and reprimanded for his deed, and, according to a few (un)reliable sources, he was thrown out of class and was prevented from gracing a lab or two with his presence. The videos were taken down from YouTube and Facebook to avert further harm. How everything returned to normal later is something I’ll leave to your vivid imagination, because, quite frankly, I haven’t a clue! However, I do know that this story about PSY Junior and his team’s daring deed will be passed down from generation to generation, immortalized in the sands of time, and I’m sure it would have made PSY extremely proud to know that his style has been put to good use in RVCE, had he got a chance to witness it with his own eyes.

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The End of Jinkchak’s Survival Guide

survivalIt would please you to note that, this semester, the college authorities decided to include the exam fees in the college fees which they took at the beginning of the year itself. Although the queue in front of the bank vanished and was replaced by multiple queues in front of Xerox shops, in and around the college, due to the fact that copies of the original college-fee challan were required to receive an exam form; the fact remains that the hassle wasn’t as much as that described in Jinkchak’s Survival Guide to paying examination fees in RV; well, you would have been in deep water if you had somehow misplaced your original challan, but this is neither the time nor the place for delving on such trivialities. Though I’m disappointed that the aforementioned article won’t be of any actual use in the future, I have consoled myself by convincing myself (however implausible it may seem) that the powers that be came to the decision mentioned above, after reading that very article!

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Elevated Fun

I guess most CS students would agree that the most useful, and hence, most used facility in their department was the elevator. Initially restricted to the college staff only, this beloved elevator was opened up to students after some patriot (who must have been a staunch believer in the philosophy – “Why climb up stairs when you can be lifted?”) protested against such discrimination by scratching away the notice that forbade students from using the lift. Even though a warning sign inside the lift elevator1stated that it could support a maximum of 600 kg or thereabouts, there were many who wished to verify this claim by gathering as many people as they could find and stuffing them into the elevator simultaneously. The elevator also had a way of protesting against such outlandishness by going out of order at least three times a week. I know of one nincompoop whose main aim in life was to demonstrate Doppler’s effect to others – so, whenever he got the opportunity of travelling in this contraption, he would scream his head off. If you were on the other side of the lift – in short, beside him inside the lift, then woe unto thee! Being called “shameless” by a teacher did nothing to wither his spirit one bit! Soon, the staff members preferred using the staircase rather than this contraption, allowing students to avail of its facilities more often.

elevatorThere were some troublemakers who were neither interested in using the lift themselves nor in the mood of permitting others to avail of this facility. Whenever they happened to catch a glimpse of any individuals attempting to use the lift, they would hurry over to the elevator from wherever they chanced to be, and would wait outside the lift until their prey – the innocent victims – had entered the elevator and pressed the appropriate button for the particular floor they wished to reach. Then, as the elevator doors closed shut, these good-for-nothing troublemakers would press the external call button to re-call the lift. Their actions were so perfectly timed that the elevator doors would open up a few seconds after, and the individuals inside the lift would find themselves on the same floor they had started from. A few troublemakers couldn’t be bothered to make the effort of even pressing the external call button – instead, as the elevator doors closed, they would pass one of their feet through the gap between the doors, and the doors would automatically slide open. This procedure would be repeated an indefinite number of times until the innocent victims, conceding defeat, escaped from the elevator and ran down a flight of stairs. It wouldn’t be foolhardy to guess that these troublemakers were partly responsible for the elevator going out-of-order so frequently.

On one fine morning in the month of November, six students were making their way to class. As usual, they were late and as usual, they decided to use the elevator which was already stationed on the ground floor, beckoning them with open doors. They entered the elevator and one of them pressed the button labeled “2”. No sooner had the doors closed than they opened again, and who should they see standing in front of them but Mr. Donald. And, believe it or not, they were still on the ground floor – What kind of sorcery was this?

elevator-cartoonAnyway, Mr. Donald, in a not-too-stern voice, said, “No…See…Why you want to go by lift when it is only for the staff memb.…” – the students didn’t hear the rest of that sentence because it was at that moment the lift doors sealed shut, and they lost sight (and sound) of Mr. Donald.. At first everyone thought that the elevator was blessed with magical powers, but their superstitions were soon laid to rest when they realized that one of them had pressed the button labeled “2” while the teacher was talking. Thanking the stars for such a close call, they breathed a sigh of relief. No sooner had they expelled the air from their lungs than the lift doors opened once again, and they found themselves face-to-face with Mr. Donald AGAIN!!! AND THEY WERE STILL ON THE FREAKING GROUND FLOOR!!! No one waited for Mr. Donald’s words of wisdom. They made a run for it, and used the staircase to reach their destination – It was every man for himself!

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Of Juice Centers, Pen Drives, Good Samaritans and Résumés

juiceIn other news, on a cold morning in December, 2012 AD, a final-year student of RVCE CSE, whom we’ll conveniently call Dexter, dropped his 4GB-pen drive, unknowingly, near a juice center opposite RV College. When the realization of his loss dawned upon him a few hours later, Dexter’s grief knew no bounds. He frantically rummaged through his belongings in search of this important entity. When he had given up hope of ever setting eyes on it again, he received a call from an unknown number. After sandiskhe answered, a voice, on the other end of the line, informed him that he (the person to whom the voice belonged) was in possession of Dexter’s pen drive and he would meet Dexter in front of the Cauvery Hostel, where he resided, on the morrow and return the pen drive to its rightful owner. Now, Dexter’s happiness knew no bounds! Apparently, this Good Samaritan, whom we’ll conveniently call Ben-Hur, was a first-year student of RVCE, who had chanced upon the pen drive near the juice center, when he went there to quench his thirst, resumea few minutes after Dexter had departed from there. He immediately inserted this pen drive into a computer nearby and went through its contents. For some bizarre reason, Dexter had chosen to store his own résumé in that pen drive. It was by reading this document that Ben-Hur discovered the identity and phone number of Dexter, whom he called a few minutes later, and the rest is history. What a legen-wait for it-dary fable, indeed! Moral of the story: Always store your résumé on your pendrive.

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Proverbs

Now, before you begin cursing me for rambling on and on, let me move to the part you’ve, presumably, been waiting for. Repeating the words from the previous end-of-semester article, it is with utmost amusement that I present to you the section you’ve all been waiting for: This Semester’s Proverbs, compiled by yours truly, with assistance from the FIELD.

proverbs11

This semester, we had only five subjects to study, three of them being electives. I don’t know if it was just me or whether the subjects really had a behemoth of information to devour.

Even though most of us bunked loads of classes; or weren’t attentive in class even if we attended; even though we had 3 half days per week, it is commendable that a list of Proverbs was still maintained. Perhaps, collecting proverbs was the main incentive of attending or paying attention in class.

MultiMediaHeaderThose who opted for Multimedia Communications (fondly known as MMC) instead of Business Intelligence (fondly known as BI), will find it extremely hard to forget their MMC teacher (fondly known as Donald) for his trademark ludicrous gait – a teacher who used to laugh even when he was supposed to be furious. Apart from that, they will also remember how he taught, or tried really hard to teach, an extremely noisy class, the concepts of MMC with the aid of PowerPoint slides. Who can forget the amount of time it took for that silly projector, in our class, to come to life; and even after it did, displayed weird colours? Last, but not least, who can forget his proverbs that rarely failed to generate peals of laughter? Check out a few of the proverbs that were somehow collected for your perusal:

  • “No…See…” – A phrase used frequently, when he is about to explain to a student why that student’s approach to the problem at hand, is incorrect.
  •  “No…See…If you want to do good things, you must start from scratch” – said while explaining the merits of staying quiet in class.
  • “There is a dog in every house” – I fail to recall in what context this tall claim was made.
  • “Teachers will be teachers; students will be students” – Obviously! Who does he think we are?
  • “No…See…Why you want to talk like this?” – A non-rhetorical (for lack of a better term) question that failed to elicit any response from anyone in the class.
  •  “Always remain within the bandwidth” – said with regard to the frequencies of sound that originated from our classroom and propagated to other classrooms in all directions.
  • “No…See…If everyone keeps making small-small noise, then there will be a big noise” – His observation skills are commendable.
  • “Right?” – A rhetorical question, and one which was always uttered before he inhales air while speaking. Uttering this phrase was more important than completing a sentence. For instance, a shample sentence would go something like: “Multimedia is media and, right…” (pause, inhale) “…content that uses a combi…right…” (pause, inhale) “…nation of diff-different content forms…right?” Many classes were spent trying to count the number of times “Right” was said. However, this task of counting proved to be a Herculean task and was soon abandoned a few days after it began.
  • “Simp-simply” – A unique way of placing emphasis on the word, Simply. For instance: “No…See…Don’t talk simp-simply.”
  • “Diff-differently” – A unique way of placing emphasis on the word, Different.
  • “No…See…Once I say, you should follow, ya!!” – He tries to say this sternly, but always ends up laughing.
  • “No…See…Go to the market” – Pretty self-explanatory, I guess.
  • “No…See…Don’t you ashame, ya?” – Said when he is very disappointed with a student’s behavior.
  • “No…See…After you all got placed, you have been floating only. If you want to float, go to Jog Falls and float” – This philosophical statement was said very sternly, only once, after he was fed up of our noisy class. After making this statement, the entire class went crazy with laughter, and the best part was, he forgot all his anger and joined in the laughter.
  • “Block Shirt” – Whether he was referring to a shirt with blocks or a black shirt, I haven’t the faintest idea, but rumour has it that the student who wore the aforementioned block shirt was thrown out of the class by him.
  • “Shampling – Whenever he said this, everyone thought he was referring to a particular student in our class whose name happened to form a prefix of “Shampling”.

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opengl-4_0Computer Graphics was a compulsory subject in which we studied about OpenGL, which was affectionately called “OpenGL Style” as a tribute to “Oppa Gangnam Style”. Very few students bothered to listen in this class. However, many a time, their conversations would be interrupted by one of the following ‘proverbs’, and I’m willing to bet that these words of wisdom have a greater chance of being remembered by them than anything else related to Graphics that was taught in this class. :

  • “Keep Quiet” – a phrase uttered more than a million times. Kind of reminds one of the idle callback function, if you know what I mean.
  • “Upon that, if you want to do this, I will mark you absent.” – A threat, which was carried out a number of times. However, there seldom seemed to be any distinguishable change in the noise levels of the class. Maybe because there was always some ambiguity about the meanings of the terms ‘that’ and ‘this’.
  • “How many times should I tell you this?” – A question which gathered no response at all.
  • “Once in a week, you come to class…” – Usually said to a student who came to class once a week and considered it his/her duty to contribute to the noise.
  • “The last benches there.” – Makes one wonder whether the benches or the students were contributing to the noise in class.

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cryptographyThere’s a high probability that you’ve already read the “Play Fair” article posted on Jinkchak. If not, head here -> https://jinkchak.wordpress.com/2012/10/06/play-fair/ at once, to learn more about the antagonist (Loepo N) of that story who happened to teach Cryptography to us. This subject was initially an elective until it was converted into a compulsory subject for reasons I cannot fathom. The funny thing was that students didn’t dare make much noise in his class – after the Play Fair incident, anyway. What was missing in the “Play Fair” article was a list of his proverbs and memorable behavioural patterns which hadn’t been authenticated by then. So, here they are, after authentication:

  • “More than sufficient” – A partially misleading and repudiable statement.
  • “Recently, when I attended _______”, where _______ could be filled with any of the following:
  1. An Israeli Conference
  2. A conference at the College of Engineering, Pune
  3. A conference in Whitefield

When this statement was made by him, one could easily deduce that one would soon be listening to an account of his past experiences that he had already related a few classes earlier.

  • “When you can send mails, you can study also!” – Rumour has it that this phrase was said to the person who had written a letter with the subject: deliberate misinformation regarding test portions’, and addressed it to Loepo N. Apparently, when that person asked him why the 4th internal portions for Cryptography were so vast, Loepo N made the aforementioned statement. Oh. Did I forget to mention that the powers that be granted the victims, mentioned in the “Play Fair” article, 4th internals, less than a week after the 3rd internals ended? Well, I apologize for not mentioning it earlier.
  • “Relums” – To us it sounded like “Pre-lums”, but later, it was found to refer to “Realms” (of Kerberos fame)
  • He could be recognized even if he was miles away, thanks to his easily recognizable shirts. Someone even said that his shirts formed a portion of his digital signature. Another observed that the rule he used, to select which shirt to wear on any given day, was a periodic function that made use of the modulo operator (%).
  • After putting forth a question to the class, he had a tendency of performing one of the following actions:
  1. Rotating a chalk piece between his fingers
  2. Biting his upper lip
  3. All of the above
  4. None of the above

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Fuzzy_Logic_by_illadelphianFinally, who can forget our Fuzzy Logic teacher? A few of his proverbs was listed earlier, in a previous article – https://jinkchak.wordpress.com/2012/06/14/oblivion/. There are a few more to add. Fuzzy Logic was an elective in a group that also contained the subject, “Ad-Hoc Networks”. However, a proper source of Ad-Hoc proverbs couldn’t be found, so you’ll have to remain content with only the proverbs accumulated in the Fuzzy Logic class:

  • “Useless fellows” – A classic phrase, uttered frequently.
  • “Thejaaa” – A different way of calling a particular student in our class.
  • “Hmmmmm” – Used to draw the attention of all students when peace and quiet is necessary.
  • “That is all” – Used in order to signify the end of a question or answer or a class.

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caOur Computer Architecture class saw the return of a teacher, whom we had been taught by during previous years and about whom I had written a long long time ago. So, I will not venture to list her proverbs here. However, there is one incident worth mentioning, in which two notorious characters were caught throwing paper-rockets in her class. Everything would have been fine had one badly-designed rocket not decided to change its course by taking a 90-degree turn, swooped and landed in an area that was within the teacher’s field of vision. By way of punishment, the offenders were asked to give a seminar on Tournament Predictors on the morrow, which they did.

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Of Attendance, Placements and Preparation

attendanceThis semester, there were rarely any occasions on which the class strength was greater than 80%. Geez! Even the dog that resides near the CS department, and spends its free time attending classes, had a higher attendance percentage in our class than some students. Thanks to the Placement sessions that went on throughout this semester, final year students, who hadn’t got placed yet, had a valid excuse not to attend classes. The ones who attended had already gotten placed. Many times, the HOD would come to our class and shout at the students seated inside, coaxing them to attend interviews in the appropriate attire; the best part was the students who actually required that advice weren’t actually in class. Duh!

CAT & GRE, get it?

CAT & GRE, get it?

Another reason cited for not attending class, was GRE and CAT preparation (apparently, the person whose alias is Ghajinikanth Udayashankar Zuckerberg, emerged with flying colors in CAT after all this preparation) since not everyone was interested in going for a job after one’s tenure at RVCE came to an end. We also faced a royal ordeal when we mass-bunked numerous times. However, there’s no need for me to repeat – Head to jinkchak.wordpress.com/2012/10/06/play-fair/and read about our mass-bunking adventures. Due to the cancellation of the first internals, many students of our class became desperate during the next two internals, and desperate times call for desperate measures. Instead of devoting time to actually study, they concentrated on coming up with ingenious modes of copying, which included copying from smartphones that were covered by calculator buttons; from pencil boxes; from hands, legs and perhaps, even ears.

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Mini-Projects and Assignments

Projects 2We were all pretty occupied with our assignments and mini-projects. Those who cared enough, chose to do the entire mini-project themselves; others chose to steal or buy (preferably the former) ready-made projects and/or previous years’ projects (who knows – perhaps the preceding year’s project was also copied from a preceding year’s project, leading to indefinite levels of recursion);  or better still – steal projects from one of those 1000freeprojects websites! The most common dialogue used by teachers during the last few weeks of this semester, went something like this: “Have you finished your project (assignment)? Now, make a paper in IEEE format – you know that format, right? Just download it from the net, fill it up and give it to me. I’ll submit it to some International Journal that I have shortlisted.” (I’ve heard of journals shortlisting papers for publication, but never vice-versa. What a reversal of fortune!)

Some crazy chaps got it into their heads that they could have some entertainment by adding crazy stuff to their reports, since no teacher ever bothered to actually read any report critically, most of the time assuming that everyone had copied it. For instance, they added the following lines to their Graphics Mini-Project: “We would like to give back to this world a Graphical editor. With great power comes great responsibility. This will be free and will be used in schools, colleges, universities, Government and Private Institutions, Secret Service, Mafia, etc. We wish to release this product by Christmas eve, December 2012 AD so that students can enjoy it during the holiday season.”

For the report of their Football Assignment, they included the following picture on the front page:

what we did

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Believe it or not, after this writing spree of mine, I still have a lot more left to write – so much happened during this semester. However, this article has taken up a lot of your time, so I’ll bring it to a conclusion. Go ahead…Breathe a sigh of relief!

It was the last semester in which we were inseparable from data sheets and lab records, and there’s another article solely dedicated to this topic. You might be wondering why the NBA committee wasn’t mentioned in this humungous article – well, all I can say is, another article is in the works. So, Stay Tuned! If I may say so myself, my 7th semester at RVCE, with all the good, the bad and the ugly incidents, was one of the most memorable semesters ever!

I don’t know what the future holds, but I hope that our very last semester in RVCE will be even more memorable. Here’s to a Jinkchak Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Ultimate 8th Semester!!! Cheers! 🙂

Comments
  1. kushal30 says:

    I wanted to add on to gangnam style incident.. but our department is running Satsi style(some state security police who bugged german ppl) bugging on us so i’ll tell u in person..

  2. Jhinkchak : Thank you for mentioning me, dear student. You did not mention the lab attenders and librarians who have such pride even the greatest celebs would be put to shame. Don’t forget the people “behind the scenes” who work so hard to make your semester even harder to deal with.

    • Jinkchak says:

      Thank you, Mr. Tanenbaum! I really like your suggestions. They will be incorporated in Jinkchak’s next story, which will be released in the not too distant future. Stay Tuned! 🙂

  3. […] The Penultimate Semester Anthology […]

  4. Thank you for those memories, Jinkchak ! It is always a pleasure to read your blog. I really look forward to my next year now, especially playing with ciphers and a football game where the mafia is mentioned 😀

    • Jinkchak says:

      I’m so glad that you find it a pleasure to read this blog. May your next year at RVCE be as memorable as Jinkchak’s penultimate semester! All the very best! 🙂

  5. WOW just what I was searching for. Came here by searching for tarrant county

  6. […] The Penultimate Semester Anthology […]

  7. […] is this just the beginning?, 27/5/11: On Stranger Tides, The Semester That Wasn’t, Oblivion, The Penultimate Semester Anthology and The Ultimate Semester) for posterity. Just so you know, these Proverbs gave us a way to […]

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