Mission 5! (K?)

Posted: May 23, 2010 by Jinkchak in RVCE, RVCE CSE

Mission:Environmental technology(environ-mental? What a name!).The subject is usually taken lightly (or in Jinkchak’s terminology, “with a pinch of salt”). DO so at Your own risk!(K?)

Duration: 0.125 days.(K?)

Time: 0930hrs – 1130hrs IST (K?)

Date:Wednesday, May 26th, 2010 AD. (K?)

Location:Anywhere in the RVCE Campus, Mysore Road,Bangalore -560059 Karnataka, India, Asia, Earth, Solar System, Milky Way …………………………………………….Empty Space…..(K?)

Possible Enemies : Invigilators, Question-Paper Setters,Stupid questions with ambiguous answeres,Match the following,
etc.,.(K?)

Weapons : Answer Booklet where the answers have to be written, Hall Ticket, Calculators without the protective cover (required for the calculation of BOD), Stationery Items, Sense Organs, Common Sense (Most Important!) along with a little nonsense, Time (and when I say time, I mean loads of it)….. and a lot of patience to write long answers(K?).

Tips and Tricks : The trick here is to write as much as possible. Don’t bother if you can’t understand it. Just write as if there is no tomorrow. If you haven’t written anything in life, now’s your chance to do so. Write every bit of nonsense that pops into your mind. If you have no idea what to write, here’s a clue. Just think of a sentence. Now write that sentence. The next sentence is obtained by changing the grammatical construction of the previous sentence. Try various permutations and combinations till you reach the end of the page! In between sentences, add the lyrics of a few songs you know. Maybe that will please the person correcting your paper. It’s then your choice whether you want to continue or not!But beware, this trick cannot be applied to “Fill in the blanks” and “Match the following”. (K?)

Here’s an example :

*Pay special attention to the part where lyrics have been added.

Question : What is a forest eco-system and how is it over exploited?

Here’s an answer that one of my friends wrote.

“A forest eco-system consists of wild and timid animals. Timid animals are a part of the forest eco-system. Even wild animals are a part of this eco-system. There are millions of ways in which this eco-system may be destroyed. The destruction of an eco-system may be caused in millions of ways. Here’s one of them. One of them is here. If the forest lies near a human dwelling such as a farmland, then wild animals may stray into it. If there are timid animals here, the wild animals may kill them for food. Give me some sunshine….give me some rain.Wild animals may kill timid animals that are near human dwellings such as farmlands. Jab question paper ho out of control, answer sheet ko karke fold…Answer sheet ko karke fold, aeroplane banake bol! All Will Fail! Seeing this, the owner of the farm owner may come and kill the wild animal. The wild animals may be killed by the farm owner in anger. In this way, both the wild and timid animals lose their lives. Hence, a forest eco-system is destroyed. “

This answer fetched my friend full marks. Wonderful, ain’t it? We all must learn something from this guy.


**Conditions apply. Tricks are subject to risks. Please read the disclaimer carefully before making any decision! (Read the preceding statement without any pause). I might have stretched the truth a bit, but I think writers are allowed to do that once in a while.(K?)

Possible Rewards : No more classes in which “k” is the most used interjection! In a survey conducted by some students with nothing better to do in the Environmental class (after all, what is there to do?!), it was found that the speed at which “k” is uttered is 30 per minute. The value may vary depending on weather conditions, but on a sunny day, it tends to remain constant. (The author cannot guarantee the accuracy of this statement). These happen to be O.M.G. facts! (K?)

But the chances are that we will miss this class as this was the only class where we could do absolutely anything we wanted in class without the fear of being caught (especially completion of our records). This class was a real boon during this really hectic semester. Many students had great laughing sessions in this class (without the aid of laughing gas)! Too bad we had only two of these classes per week ! This will always remain the best class of the second semester.
(K?)

Afterthoughts(?!): The entire credit for the innovative idea of having a class email id goes to the environmental teacher. If he hadn’t come up with that idea, these articles would never have seen the dawn of a new day. Boy, do I love this email id! Anyone can write whatever they want, whenever they want to, under the condition of anonymity. (K?)

Oh, I must not forget to thank the creator of this email-id. We really appreciate it!

Written By:


Robert Ludlum (K?) in collaboration with Sidney Sheldon (K?), Alistair McLean (K?), J K Rowling (K?), Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (K?), Dan Brown (K?), John Grisham (K?), Robin Cook (K?), Ayn Rand (K?) and a whole lot of other people.. (K?)

Please welcome Mr. Isaac Asimov, the latest person to join us! This article was written by this person!

Disclaimer : All disputes are subject to RVCE jurisdiction only. (K?)

Comments
  1. vaishakhbn says:

    please don't forget the give me some sunshine song written by one of our friends and getting full marks for that particular question:D

  2. Your wish is my command, your Majesty! The changes have been made. Read the article again. Is there anything else you desire, your Majesty??

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