Yours Sincerely, Data Sheet – Part 3: “Oye! Extra Data Sheet Hai Kya?”

Posted: June 22, 2013 by Jinkchak in RVCE, RVCE CSE, Short Stories
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Data Sheet 1 - Copy copyR.V. College of Engineering,
R.V. Vidyanikethan Post,
Mysore Road,

Bangalore – 560059

21st June, 2013 AD

Dear Student (of the 2013 batch),

This is a continuation of my previous letter, dated 10th January, 2013 AD. If you haven’t read it already, I urge you to head here – https://jinkchak.wordpress.com/2013/04/21/yours-sincerely-data-sheet-part-2-does-the-word-turbo-ring-a-bell/ right away.

Now that you’ve finished reading my previous letter, allow me to proceed.

Let’s shift to the topic of autographs. Obtaining an autograph meant that you had acquired the privilege of copying my contents into my sibling – the lab record, which had to be shown in the next lab session for evaluation.

writing records

Writing in the record and data sheets was more of a chore for you, really! A few enjoyed it. Others cursed all day long. Speaking of writing, I think it’s about time I told you how I have classified you all, as I mentioned earlier, based on the time at which you all decide (if you decide at all) to initiate the transmission of ink from your pen to my surface to form legible/illegible text and tidy/untidy diagrams. This classification is applicable in CS as well as non-CS labs. So, here it is:write data sheets

  1. Those who firmly believe in the adage, “The early bird catches the worm”. If x represents the number of days before the deadline by which writing has to be completed, then they would have completed writing at x ≥ 2.
  2. Those who stay up all night, one day before the deadline, and complete their record work and/or data sheet work.
  3. Those who firmly believe in the adage, “Better late than never”, and complete all writing exercises inside the classroom before, during or after class-hours, though most students prefer to do this during class-hours. Some even choose to sacrifice the break/lunch time to accomplish their mission.They can simultaneously belong to category 1 as well (if x > 0).It’s really a sight to witness a whole lot of students writing on me and my sibling right under a teacher’s nose. Of course, no one in his/her right mind does it in plain sight, unless, of course, they are extremely sure that they won’t be caught for any reason whatsoever. The art of deception has been practiced and perfected over the years, and passed down from generation to generation and somehow, I managed to get my hands on some of the strategies that students follow (The Holy Grail of deception, so to speak) :pretending
    1. Pretend that one is taking down notes diligently, while, in reality, one is actually writing a data sheet or record.
    2. Make sure that one looks at the teacher’s face once in a while, and nods one’s head in agreement to what is being said.
    3. One must also ensure that an actual notebook is easily available in the vicinity, should one face the situation where a teacher keeps walking up and down the aisle of the class.
    4. One can lay one’s head down on the desk and pretend to sleep, while one (unbeknownst to all present) writes on one’s data sheets placed on one’s lap. If one is caught, one should make up a story of a headache.
    5. If one is lucky enough to find a tall person to sit behind, such that one is completely blocked from the teacher’s view, then one’s troubles are over.
    6. chipsOne should also have access to food and drink from time to time, for writing data-sheets is a difficult and monotonous task, and replenishment is a must.
    7. Finally, one must possess knowledge of the strictness of the teacher under whose invigilation one is planning to write and/or eat.
    8. If one can’t muster up the courage to write inside the classroom and one has to complete writing at all costs, then one has no choice but to bunk that class and write elsewhere.
    9. There are some who always see the glass as half-full, and are sure that the teacher in charge of the respective lab will be lenient, and will allow them to write their data sheets in the lab itself. Whether they actually request for permission to write is left to their discretion.
    10. Those suffering from a mild bout of lazy-i-tus. This group includes those who haven’t even bothered to buy data sheets to write on as well as those who never write because they never attend the lab.

It would be worthwhile to note that although I have described when students choose to write, I haven’t enlightened you on what they choose to write. The categorization is as follows:

  1. deceptionThose who write everything down to a tee, precisely as given in the respective lab manual.
  2. Those who prefer to use a bit of lossy compression and skip a few lines in between (this scenario is especially applicable while writing data sheets for a CS lab).
  3. Those who write only on the front page of the data sheet, confident that the teacher won’t bother to examine the contents of the data sheets behind and/or beneath it.
  4. Those who see the glass as half-full. When they have written at most half of what they had to write (which doesn’t imply that they have written everything in the specified order), they feel their mission is accomplished and do not continue any further. They hope that the teacher will commend them for at least trying.

glue stickStudents can be classified based on glue too. Yeah, you read that right. Glue! You see, as per the rules, a signed data sheet (that’s me) has to be stuck inside a record before it is submitted for evaluation. And to stick anything, glue is needed, right? As per my calculations, here’s the classification model:

  1. Those who possess glue. Luckily, there’s always at least one person in every class who possesses glue. (In the rarest of rare cases when there is an exception to this “rule”, then one would have to purchase a glue stick (from the Cooperative Society or elsewhere), which will, sooner or later, find its way into the hands of students belonging to the other two categories…Read on.)
  2. Those who don’t have their own glue. So, they borrow someone else’s glue and don’t bother to return it to its rightful owner.
  3. Those who don’t have their own glue. So, they borrow someone else’s glue and actually return it. This group also includes those who return the glue after completely emptying it.

What happens when students use liquid adhesives and how pages of practical records are consequently destroyed, is a story I’ll leave for another occasion, if you don’t mind!

Similar to the Glue Classification Model (if I may be permitted to call it so), there also exists a classification model based on blank data sheets. Let me show you a picture. Does it ring a bell? Did you ever lend data sheets in response to questions that bore a remarkable resemblance to “Oye! Extra Data Sheets hai kya?”, and later find yourself bereft of data sheets a short while later?

data sheets gone

I might have inadvertently forgotten some other classification models, for which I sincerely apologize, even though ♫ it’s too late to apologize. It’s too late ♫…Oops! Sorry. I got carried away.

quit rvce movement

The Quit “RVCE CSE” Movement, led by Rajnikant and his comrade, which lasted for less than 5 minutes…

Anyway, I would be committing a felonious act if I failed to mention the lab attenders. Some were grumpy; others were jovial; still others swayed from grumpiness to joviality with the passing of every week; some had such pride that even the greatest celebrities would be put to shame; some had more knowledge than even some of your teachers. I bet many of you will remember attenders only by the manner in which they helped you out (if they helped at all) with experiments. All in all, labs wouldn’t have been what they were, had it not been for the lab attenders and their memorable traits.

No matter how hard I try, I shall never ever forget the gaming sessions in the CISCO lab of the CS department, unbeknownst to the teachers in charge, of course…and “the random discussions that I overheard, which rarely had anything to do with academics, if you know what I mean…”

gaming in the Cisco lab

was it worth itOver the years, I’ve collected a whole lot of unanswered questions. When I’m alone, I often wonder whether CS students would have been so hostile towards me if they didn’t have to write programs on me. What if I was only required when they had to write outputs or just a few points to stimulate their senses while writing programs directly on a lab computer? What if I wasn’t required at all? How many of you actually benefitted by this method of learning lab programs by writing the same thing over and over again? On what basis is the syllabus framed? Why can’t mini-projects be shown on laptops instead of the lab computers? Why isn’t there any Honour Code? I have so many other questions, but I’m getting ahead of myself…I just wonder…

rvce computer lab

curtain call 2Nevertheless, whatever may be the answers; it’s time for the final curtain to fall. You can say goodbye to me once and for all. No More Data sheets; No more Lab Records; No more manipulation; No more experiment repetition. It’s been a long and fascinating ride indeed, and be grateful that even though you’ve cursed me every so often, I’ve provided you with so many priceless memories that you can carry with you always…I have said more than I wanted to. So, I guess I will head back to the batches that actually require my services…I’m pretty sure that in the future, when you look back at these bygone times, you’ll remember me for at least a second. Here’s looking at you and the good ol’ times, kid! Cheers!

Auf Wiedersehen!

Yours Sincerely,
Data Sheet

 

P.S. Because I’m the hero RVCE deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So you’ll hunt me. Because I can take it. Because I’m not your hero. I’m a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A Dark Data Sheet.

Ok. That doesn’t make any sense, but hey, I wanted to use those lines somewhere. Ok. Ok. I’m leaving…

signing data sheet

Disclaimer: This letter was created with the intent of bringing to the fore certain observations to its readers, besides entertainment. It was, in no way whatsoever, created to offend or defame anyone. If it did, I apologize! All characters appearing in this work are fictitious, unless you wish to believe otherwise. All the images are the properties of their respective owners.

Comments
  1. Kushal says:

    Auf wiedersehen means “see again” in german.. so its wrong to use in this context

  2. kushal30 says:

    Auf wiedersehen means “see again” in german.. so its wrong to use in this context
    (reply here not for previous comment.. i dont get feed for earlier one)

  3. […] Oye! Extra Data Sheet Hai Kya? […]

  4. […] been covered in Yours Sincerely, Data Sheet – Alpha, Does the word “Turbo” ring a bell? and “Oye! Extra Data Sheet Hai Kya?”, so I won’t delve on this oh-so-memorable topic any […]

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