The X-Files III: Compensation

Posted: April 14, 2011 by Jinkchak in RVCE, RVCE CSE
Tags: , , , , ,

Time: 0200 hours, 7th April, 2011 AD

Location: The construction site in front of the Administrative block

It was an extremely hot night, and swarms of mosquitoes of all shapes and sizes were flying around here and there, but that didn’t hinder their conversation. Both of them were deeply involved in a conversation, which would have surely gone unnoticed, had the unreliable source not been strolling past that very area at the very same time.

The unreliable source had grown accustomed to their voices due to his espionage all those months ago. (Too bad he hadn’t managed to get a look at their faces yet). It was for this reason that, as soon as he recognized their voices, he immediately hid himself in the grass nearby, and considering the fact that the moon had chosen to remain out of view that night, the chances of him being discovered by the two men were extremely low.

In that dark environment, this is what the unreliable source heard:

“I thought that it was imperative that we meet, in order to discuss our course in torturing the students of RVCE,” began Rambo, as he tried to catch one of the many mosquitoes, swirling around his left ear.

“My thoughts exactly,” replied the short and squeaky one, as he aimed for that mosquito, but missed, and hit Rambo’s ear instead.

“Great aim, you nincompoop,” said Rambo.

“Why, Thank you, Master,” replied the squeaky one, before he continued, “My team has been working overtime to devise new methods of torture.”

“I know. You must be proud of your work. Let’s look at what we’ve accomplished so far this semester.”

“Firstly, we introduced the concept of no choices in the internal tests to make the lives of students miserable. On top of that, multiple choice questions ceased to appear in all the quizzes. Instead, all quizzes now comprise of, mostly, Fill in the blanks, and in some rare cases, Match the Following. A drop in the average scores was guaranteed. I also made sure that the second set of quizzes and tests was held while the Cricket World Cup was in progress,” said the squeaky one, rubbing his hands with glee. Unfortunately, a mosquito had been caught between his hands…but, fortunately, it was too dark to see anything.

“Yeah! And, speaking with respect to the CSE department, we made sure that the syllabus was framed in such a way that students would find it extremely hard to become experts at anything! Cramming three programming languages (with a practical lab for only one of the languages) into one semester was a fantastic idea. We are creating typists, not programmers.”

“And what’s more?! I made sure that one of the teachers teaching Java couldn’t distinguish Java from Lava. When asked any question, she’ll always say she’ll find out later (which she never will) and confuse students with topics about Operating Systems (OS). She knows a great deal of time-wasting-tactics. For instance, while correcting blue books, she’ll always mark a correct answer wrong (and vice-versa), thus ensuring that there’s always an argument in the class and thus, she won’t have to teach anything during that class, and time will be spent updating marks. At times, she won’t listen to reason, and even if a computer proves her wrong, she’ll “have to think it over”. And you know the best part? Off late, she has stopped teaching and allows students to while away their time in her class. Brilliant, I say! Just Brilliant! Coupled with the vastness of that subject, this plan is guaranteed not to make students learn Java or C#,” said the squeaky one, as he caught another mosquito.

“But you’ve overlooked one point, my dear friend,” said Rambo, lowering his voice a bit. “Stanford University has released videos of their lectures on YouTube. I hate to admit it, but the lectures are totally, totally awesome, especially the ones by Mehran Sahami on Programming Methodology! But that’s not the point. The point is that students are slowly learning from those lectures. I wish there was something we could do to stop them, but unfortunately, our prospects are bleak.”

“Don’t worry! We’ll find a way, just like we did for the others. Besides, we still have our master plan which will be announced to the students today evening,” replied the squeaky one, in a consoling tone.

“You’re right! I can’t wait to see the look on students’ faces when they hear that their suspicions have been confirmed, tomorrow!” exclaimed Rambo, with a laugh that scared the blood out of the mosquitoes in that area.

“Well! It’s getting late, and we need to get some sleep to celebrate our master plan, today evening, and besides; I’m covered with Mosquito-bites,” said Rambo.

“Adios, Amigo!” said the squeaky one, as they parted ways.

———————————————————————————————————————————————

Time: Sometime after 1500 hours, 7th April, 2011 AD

Location: Various Departments

Various staff members, with notices in their hands, made an announcement that went something like:

“Students will be allowed to write the Compensatory Quizzes and Tests, only if they present valid reasons to their counselors. Those without valid reasons will not be allowed to write the Compensatory Quizzes and Tests.”

The damage was done. There was a great deal of unrest in the entire college campus.

The unreliable source reported that the squeaky one and Rambo were having a good laugh in an unknown location (filled with mosquitoes).

———————————————————————————————————————————————

Time: 0100 hours, 13th April, 2011 AD

Location: The construction site in front of the Administrative block

“I’m glad you came,” said Rambo to the squeaky one, who was beside him. “Things aren’t going as planned. Have you heard?”

“Yes! I heard. Letters addressed to the HOD, were written, earlier yesterday, requesting for the ban on Compensatory Quizzes and Tests to be lifted. Students are getting restless. In fact, I checked Facebook earlier today.”

“Facebook?? What the hell is that?” asked Rambo.

“It’s a …well, never mind. I’ll find out and let you know. Anyway, I checked it and I found out that there is going to be a PEACEFUL protest organized by students in front of the Principal’s office today @ 0900 hours IST, for the issue of compensatory quiz/test,” said the squeaky one, bracing himself for an outburst of anger anytime soon.

“WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! How is this possible? This can’t be happening. We have to do something,” burst forth Rambo.

“There’s nothing we can do, except wait and watch.”

“You’re right. I think I’ll go and rest, and think matters over.”

And without any other words, they, along with some mosquitoes, went in different directions.

———————————————————————————————————————————————

Time: 0920 hours, 13th April, 2011 AD

Location: The main entrance of the Administrative block

(Photos courtesy The Last Sentinel)

———————————————————————————————————————————————

Time: 1130 hours, 13th April, 2011 AD

Location: The construction site in front of the Administrative block

The squeaky one and Rambo were seated on a stone, drinking heavily. Both of them clenched their mugs of…water tightly.

“I can’t believe it actually happened. I can’t believe we lost…LOST. YOU HEAR ME?? We…yeah WE lost,” shouted Rambo.

“Calm down, Master. You’ll wake everyone up,” said the squeaky one.

“Calm down. CALM DOWN. We lost…and all you can tell me is Calm down. You’ve got to be the biggest idiot I’ve ever met in my life. I can’t believe you allowed them to agree to the students’ request. I trusted you. You betrayed me.”

“I had to. I had no choice. I didn’t want any violence. You have to calm down. We’ll find some other way to torture the students,” explained the squeaky one.

“I guess you’re right. Give me some more water. I’m a waterholic. I need to drink. It calms my nerves,” said Rambo, in a softer tone.

After handing the water bottle to him, the squeaky one continued, “Well, look on the bright side. Since they have to write the compensatory tests, the students will have to spend lots of time studying old stuff and lesser time learning new cutting-edge stuff. They’ll have lesser time to enjoy.”

“So, I guess we actually won, didn’t we? It was a win-win situation, and we emerged victorious.”

“Yeah! I guess we did! Let’s drink to that,” said the squeaky one, raising his glass in the air.

Too bad he didn’t notice the huge black spider swimming around in his drink as he lifted his cup to his lips.

Opposite the college, one of the workers at Hotel Dreamland was disturbed from his own dreamland; he thought he had heard some sort of scream. Coming to the conclusion that the scream must have been a figment of his imagination, he went back to Dreamland…

Comments
  1. Hariharan says:

    i can get this published in the rvce magazine as anonymous..shud i try?

  2. Hariharan says:

    its fuckin amazin, u gotta put this up man
    and lol @ the DL guy

  3. Jinkchak says:

    Thanks a lot, dude!

    You have my full permission to publish it in the RVCE Magazine if you want…but I don’t know how you’ll manage it. All the best! 🙂

  4. Hariharan says:

    Friend is editor , wants material [dont know if it’l b allowed but il try]

  5. Anonymous says:

    Just too good…. Good mix of smthg technical + hilarious.. & lots of reality !! DL part was awsme… 😉

  6. Anonymous says:

    Go ahead yaar…its good…

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