AK47’s Proverbs

Posted: May 2, 2010 by Jinkchak in Jinkchak, RVCE, RVCE CSE, Short Stories


This time we shift our focus to the teacher of the most difficult subject this semester – yes, I’m talking about the dreaded subject – Basic Electronics Engineering, otherwise known as BEL. In this article, you will learn about AK, also known as AK47 (to tell you the truth, I just came up with that name. There was no specific nickname for her, and where’s the fun if there’s no nickname, right?) .

The first impression you get when you attend AK47’s class is that she has a good command over the English language and knows her subject. But as time moves on, you realize that only her English is good, that’s all. She uses a lot of long words while teaching, so you wonder if she’s actually teaching you BEL or something else. Or maybe I’m wrong and maybe the subject is like that…I don’t know which! In the end, you might come to the conclusion that her way of talking is a bad imitation of Jinkchak’s (e)style.

In every class of AK47’s, you will get to hear two words a minimum of ten times. Those words are: “WHEREIN WHICH”. And I’m not even sure if “wherein which” is correct. You cannot combine both the words like that since they lead to redundancy. But, who cares?

In every class, she makes it a point to ask some question that (wherein which) nobody can answer. She always begins her questions with: “Now, can anyone tell me what will happen when I ….?” and then she looks at everyone in the class for at least a minute. For crying out loud, doesn’t it ever occur to her that if we knew the answer to that question, why, in the name of all that is good, are we sitting and listening to her lecture?

You’ll know you are in AK47’s class when the following episode occurs. AK47 will always tell you to refer to the Electronics textbook written by “Robert L. Boylestad and Louis Nashelsky”. She says, “Always study from the Nashelsky Boylestad textbook when you are attempting any quiz or test set by the ECE department. This is the standard reference book. It is written by Robert Nashelsky.” (She always combines the four names in various ways like “Louis Robert” or “Boylestad Louis” or “L. Nashelsky”.) She continues: “Don’t buy that book. Just borrow it from the college library. If you are unable to do so, just look at Sudhakar Samuel or David Bell.” You will hear the above Proverb at least twice a week, if you’re lucky!

She is not very fond of working out problems on the board. She dictates the question to the class, and after she’s sure most of the students have gotten the answer by hook or by crook, she always says this : “The backbenchers there…(add some backbencher’s name here like*****^%$%****)….are you getting it, or do you want me to work it out on the board?” If the backbencher happens to be someone like the CHAMATKAR guy, he replies in the negative, which is almost every time.

Below are some of the statements she uses most of the time. It really makes me wonder why she doesn’t record her statements on a CD and play it for the class. It would save her a lot of trouble.

· If she hasn’t completed a chapter within the stipulated time, this is the proverb that is always used: “I will need a decent 3 hours to complete this chapter.” – Can you believe this? How can 3 hours be decent, or indecent? After this, she asks, “When are you free? Are you free on _____day? I really need to complete this chapter before the quiz.”

· Every two weeks, you will hear this question : “So, how are the other classes going? Have the other teachers finished their portions? Am I going too fast?”

· When she gives an important announcement to the class, she uses this Proverb in order to tell us to spread the message to others : “Please put a word to the others who are not here.”

· If she is discussing a specific method of solving a problem, the beginning of her speech goes something like this : “The thumb rule is ….” – (I actually thought the thumb rule was something else.)

· Her favourite victim is a person named “V@^$#@%#”. You will often hear AK47 telling him, “V@^$#@%#, don’t give me that wicked smile of yours.”

As an added bonus for reading this article, here’s some extra information. According to a survey conducted by Ripley’s Believe it or Not, it was found that AK47 blinks 150 times per minute.

This class is quite unusual. This is a class (where) in which you can sleep with your eyes wide open, even if AK47 maintains eye contact with you. There is also one more law if you are AK47’s student.

AK47’s law of Marks: “The marks obtained by any of my students in any test or quiz shall never be a constant, and will vary non-linearly with temperature, pressure and other factors!”

In conclusion, here’s a message regarding AK47’s class. “Half of what you read is waste, half of the rest you don’t understand, half of what you understand you won’t remember and the half of what you remember is never asked.” Note that the author of this article didn’t come up with this line. The credit goes to someone else!

Written by

Robert Ludlum in collaboration with Sidney Sheldon, Alistair McLean, J K Rowling, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Dan Brown, John Grisham, Robin Cook, Ayn Rand and a whole lot of other people. This article couldn’t have been written without AK47 being the way she is! We are very grateful to AK47!

Hogibitt Barthene! 🙂

Comments
  1. […] department (which I remember visiting in my 2nd semester, to have a rendezvous with AK47 from AK47’s Proverbs), moved straight ahead and just as I was about to turn right at the next junction, I caught a […]

  2. […] department (which I remember visiting in my 2nd semester, to have a rendezvous with AK47 from AK47’s Proverbs), moved straight ahead and just as I was about to turn right at the next junction, I caught a […]

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