The Wonder Years : 2009 – 2013

Dedicated to

July 20^th, 2013 AD, will go down in history as one of the most important days of our lives at RVCE, not only because it was the convocation day for the batch of 2013 AD, but for a whole lot of other reasons. So, for perhaps the very last time, I beseech thee, reader, to sit down (if you aren’t already) and let me narrate to you a tale like none you’ve ever heard before…and let me warn you, before it’s too late, that this tale is longer than usual. So, get some popcorn, if necessary. If you’re one of those who is too lazy to read, then no worries! Feel free to just look at all the photos and collages in this article.

Let’s start at the very beginning – a very good place to start. On the evening of July 9^th, 2013 AD, precisely when the clock struck 7, the students of RVCE CSE received the following mail (presented verbatim) from Loepo N, informing them about their forthcoming graduation ceremony:

Dear All,

The graduation ceremony for the 2013 graduating batch will be on 20th July, 2013. The function will start at 11 AM and will be in old sports complex (next to CSE Dept.). Students are required to register online compulsorily through the link given in rvce main website or click the link below-

http://www.rvce.edu.in/graduation.php

Spot registration will not be allowed. Students need to register online within 18th July, 2013.

Any URL containing “rvce.edu.in” is enough to send shivers down anyone’s spine, after witnessing the (…what’s the word I’m looking for…) extraordinary experiences outlined in Selecting Global Electives in RVCE, The X-Files I and Pulp Fiction, and this was no exception to the rule. So, it was with utmost anxiety that students clicked this link to register, and believe it or not, for the first time in the history of RVCE (and humankind, if you will), the website actually loaded in a flash – was this an omen or something?

Anyway, just before registering, the foremost questions in most students’ minds were: “Whom should I invite? Should I inform my parents? Should I even attend?” Numerous introspections, “extrospections” and group discussions later, decisions were reached and registrations were completed. Now, all they had to do was bide their time till July 20^th, and boy, did time whoosh by! And poof…before they knew it, July 20^th had arrived!

Saturday, July 20, 2013 AD

It had rained the entire night, and the rain-bearing clouds overhead showed no signs of receding. It was in this beautiful (or perhaps gloomy, depending on how one chose to look at it) weather that I made my way to college, along with my parents, traveling along the route that I had frequented for four years in the college bus – nostalgic memories of the orchestra buses; the moments when they broke down; my bus mates; the drivers who would have been better off playing Need For Speed; the driver who was Khader Khan’s doppelganger; and a whole lot of other fun stuff I won’t bore you with, swooped into the dark recesses of my pre-occupied mind.

After weaving our way through heavy traffic and the innumerable potholes caused by the heavy rain on Mysore Road, and passing by Nayandahalli(which reminded me of the endless hours spent stuck in traffic at that junction over the years and the enlightening conversations that were initiated as a result of these jams; Lo and Behold! To my amazement, I found myself actually missing it – Yup! You read that right! What was happening to me?!) where, coming back to the present, we were stuck for a mere five minutes. After a journey that was a record 1 hour long, we realized that we had reached our destination when the grand entrance of RV College of Engineering loomed large through the veil of rain – the very same entrance through which I had passed around this time of the year, four years ago, with the intention of scrutinizing RVCE before I made one of the most significant decisions of my life.

Before we could drive through the main entrance, a security guard informed us to head to the other entrance beside the main canteen. So we changed our course, and as we headed there, I glanced at the shops opposite college and I saw:

• Laxmi Juice and Chats (no, that wasn’t a typo) – a place where Orange Solid turned to Orange Liquid quite swiftly(if you know what I mean), accompanied with chaats as well as chats;
• Atithi Point’s Ande Ka Funda – where one went to satiate one’s appetite with egg rolls and boiled eggs after every successful mass-bunk;
• The petty shops like Cool Corner, from where one purchased…uhmmm…petty items and Uncle Chips;
• Udupi Upahar – where rotis were considered to be a speciality, and when an alternative to canteen and/or hostel food was required.
• Hotel Dreamland – where one went, for obvious reasons. It is also remembered as the place where Nitya was asked to go during 8^th Mile, 2010 AD in an infamous chat with our class e-mail ID – remember? :-P;
• Charvi Global Tech – frequently visited during assignment and project submission time for…you guessed it…printouts, spiral binding, browsing and any other related stuff. One did not simply visit and return from this shop without having his/her pen drive infected with at least one virus.
• The 2 Xerox Centres – for when the Xerox Centre inside college was overflowing with students.
• Rolls corner – when Ande Ka Funda was too mainstream.
• Manjunatha Book Centre – when one was too lazy to purchase text books from Avenue Road or when one couldn’t find a book in the RVCE Library;
• Kadamba – often confused with a hotel of a similar name in Kengeri(RvceCse II’s hometown).
• Oh, and how can I forget the appalling clouds of smoke perennially floating around this area, all thanks to those who liked to throw their lives away.

Anyway, after this wave of nostalgia died down, I found myself whizzing past the “other” RVCE entrance, with the main canteen on my right, and the boulevard of broken dreams on my left. How can I ever forget the lunch breaks during which my friends and I used to “wait in line” (or more like push our way through human traffic to the counter) to buy food coupons (for Chinese, South Indian or North Indian delicacies) from the cashiers, and receive Chikkis or Eclairs as change? And wait…those panneer rolls that had no panneer? Priceless!

The rain had reduced to a slight drizzle now, and drops fell through the healthy green foliage on my left. The boulevard was just as it was when I had first stepped into it, years ago. It had retained its sweetness through the years and I remembered how, apart from being an alternate route to my department in the mornings, it had always provided momentary solitude to me when I had to gather my thoughts together.

Coming back to the present, we drove past the mechanical engineering department (and memories of my CAED labs in first-year flashed through my mind), straight past the IEM auditorium (where I had had my orientation programme on my first day of college and witnessed other programmes as well in my brief stint at RV) and the professional looking building with dark windows that housed the Biotech, MCA, ISE and IT departments (which I remember thanks to college fests, and also because this was where my class photograph was officially taken), after which we finally reached the designated parking area, which was, in fact, the normal parking stand for the college buses. Needless to say, the “orchestra” buses stood there, basking in all their glory.

After getting down from my vehicle, I was informed by my friend to add the Classroom Complex (CRC) as my next destination (which I did, subsequently), and all this was done via phone – speaking of mobile phones reminds me of those “Do not carry mobile phones to class or you will be suspended” rules, which necessitated the usage of lockers, but I won’t get into that since an article dedicated solely to these lockers, which were memorable in their own right, is already available here: Under Lock and Key. You’d be surprised at how simple lockers could be the source of so many memories.

I headed to the CRC to register and collect my graduation robe. I was already running late by 2 hours, but that was the least of my worries – being late to class many times had taught me to forget my worries. On reaching the CRC, I was hit by another wave of nostalgia – this was the venue of my internal tests during my first year of college, back when quizzes and tests weren’t combined; when quizzes were held late in the evenings. Suddenly, out of the blue, images of my younger self appeared out of nowhere. There I was, seated beside the CRC along with my classmates, all of us armed with as many as three textbooks and a notebook on our laps, attempting to cram as much as we could into our already-overloaded craniums, with only a few minutes left for the quiz to begin.After our time was up, we left our seats and headed to our respective venues to write our test. Did I mention the extra-hard backless benches on which we all had to sit while filling out our answer sheets with sensible and…uhmm…I think I’ll leave that to your imagination, reader! Oh, I almost forgot to mention that this was also the building that housed the Maths department which had its share of awesome and eccentric professors.

The vision disappeared as suddenly as it had appeared, and I was pushed back to the present. I had to climb up two flights of stairs before I could enter the classroom containing my registration form, and who should I see but Loepo N, from Play Fair! He requested me to fill up a feedback form before I could obtain my graduation robe. I did so, and after depositing 500 bucks as collateral, I was presented with a robe, a folder containing some documents which I didn’t investigate until after the day was done and a memento, which turned out to be a peculiar kind of clock that gave a whole new meaning to the word “quaint”.

Following this, I retraced my steps back to the ground floor and stumbled upon a counter. On enquiring, I found out that every graduating student had to pay Rs. 100 if he/she wished to have his/her photo taken while receiving his/her Provisional Degree Certificate (or PDC, as it was fondly called). And no – unauthorized photographers were forbidden from clicking photos for reasons unbeknownst to all but the powers that be.

After paying this ransom, I departed from the CRC and whom should I bump into but RM (Radio Mirchi), whose detailed description can be found here: RM’s Proverbs. He established eye contact with his penetrating gaze, smiled and nodded his head at me, and just as I thought he would say, “Good morning, it is”, he vanished into thin air. Did I just hallucinate?

I closed my eyes for a minute, cleared my mind and then continued walking forward, my next destination being the field beside the old sports complex. I turned left near the Electronics department (which I remember visiting in my 2^nd semester, to have a rendezvous with AK47 from AK47’s Proverbs), moved straight ahead and just as I was about to turn right at the next junction, I caught a glimpse of the Admin Block on the left – the block which will always be associated with green and white challans that were used for anything bearing even a remote relation to any sort of fees; patient and impatient clerks; the placement cell and its members within; the principal’s office and the extraordinary experience recounted in Anatomy of a Final-Year Project; Rambo and the Squeaky One from Pulp Fiction; bonafide letters; college bus routes. I could actually visualize myself running around with a challan in one hand and a pen in the other, pausing to fill up the challan as if it was an imposition to be completed, and then, heading to the ING Vysya bank to pay the fees beneath the scorching summer sun, after getting the challan Xeroxed three or four times. Oh! Those were the days! Remember how the authorities brought about a drastic improvement in the process of paying examination fees after this article was published – The Jinkchak Survival Guide to Paying Examination Fees in RVCE? Well, this was definitely one occasion that this blog proved its worth, if I may say so myself.

Anyway, I’m drifting. Where was I? Oh, yes! I was on my way to the field beside the Old Sports Complex. I continued to tread my way down the road leading to my department, viz., the CSE department – the place in which I had spent a major portion of my college life. Rushing to my classroom on so many occasions, only to find out that a mass bunk was being initiated, mostly by the hostel people (who would rather sleep than attend classes) followed by the act of convincing other students to participate in the mass bunk through group discussions and/or bribes right outside the department – I think I’ll save myself the trouble of recounting every event that took place during a mass-bunk by redirecting you to these links: A Moment To Remember : Mass Bunk, Mass Bunk: A Moment to Forget? and Play Fair. When students weren’t (mass-) bunking, they were sitting in their classrooms, listening to lectures, which were unique in their own right, proved by the umpteen number of Proverbs that flowed from teachers to students (and vice-versa, once in a blue moon), and recorded in the Jinkchak Hall of Fame (or, in other words, in the many posts contained in this blog, especially the End-Of-Semester Articles like 11/1/11– The End….or is this just the beginning?, 27/5/11: On Stranger Tides, The Semester That Wasn’t, Oblivion, The Penultimate Semester Anthology and The Ultimate Semester) for posterity. Just so you know, these Proverbs gave us a way to remember our lecturers and was never intended to harm anyone.

The number of cherishable moments in class is too damn high to recall. Sleeping, eating, sleeping, watching movies, sleeping, having philosophical discussions, sleeping, listening to music, sleeping, taking photos, acting as audience to unforeseen debates between teachers and the debating guy of our class, and last but not least, sometimes actually listening to lectures either to collect more proverbs or to understand the subject (when the lecturer happened to be one who made the subject so much more interesting than the aforementioned activities, like the professor here: Rashtreeya Vidyalaya College of Engineering: Who is your favorite lecturer at RVCE? And why?) were some of the extra-curricular activities performed within the four walls of every classroom that we graced with our presence, semester after semester. And how we Played Dangerous Pranks during PDPs – PDP Trilogy!

Did I mention sleeping? Well, I guess I did. Most of us used to spend evenings and nights doing other stuff. Some watched movies or TV shows (which were the rage back then, and, as of now, still is); others preferred to chat with friends or play games all night long; still others preferred to utilize this time to study stuff related and unrelated to college work. So, in essence, what I’m trying to say is: Many students preferred to sleep in class during the day rather than at home during the night. But wait…I’m going off-topic here. So, allow me to return.

This department had also stood witness to god-only-knows how many seminars and projects, not to mention the innumerable tests we wrote and the ingenious methods that students came up with to increase the probability of getting better grades because they believed that “one did not simply study for a test”. And how can I ever forget the labs and attenders like Rajinikanth and his characteristic twist-neck-pull-shirt move? Data Sheets, Project Work, labs, lab externals –the entire jingbang has been covered in Yours Sincerely, Data Sheet – Alpha, Does the word “Turbo” ring a bell? and “Oye! Extra Data Sheet Hai Kya?”, so I won’t delve on this oh-so-memorable topic any further.

The RVCE CSE department – who would have thought that just a glance at one building could invoke so many memories? Alright! Alright! Forgive me for drifting away from the convocation – Curse me all you like, but know that I just couldn’t help myself. I apologize!

Coming back to the present, I found my classmates standing in front of my department. Photo sessions ensued and many minutes later, we all opened the packages we had obtained from the CRC and attired ourselves with our rented graduation robes. Needless to say, photo sessions ensued again.

Once we were through with the aforementioned activities, we shifted our sights to the huge marquee situated in the middle of the field (where we used to go to have lunch so many years ago, after which we used to head to the old sports complex to play Carrom, Badminton or TT). It began to drizzle. We quickened our pace and entered the marquee, where we were directed towards our seats – it turned out that seats had been allocated for every graduating student, department-wise, with slips of paper containing our names, plastered to our chairs. Parents and other well-wishers occupied the chairs further away from the stage, while we found ourselves closer to the stage. Rows of empty chairs could be seen on the stage, which was lined on both sides with two big-screens, the outputs of which were being generated by the professional video-cameras situated in the middle of the aisle leading to the stage.

The Master of Ceremonies for this extraordinary event turned out to be none other than _________, who was attired in a blue robe due to which one good soul remarked that he bore a striking resemblance to the antagonist of the Austin Powers film series. As expected, the Chief Guest was late. So, the MC made it a point to come to the dais every two minutes and make an announcement that was along the following lines: “Students are requested to take their seats within the next 2 minutes, after which the entrance will be sealed. The program will begin in 10 minutes.” No matter how much time elapsed, one thing was certain – “The program will begin in 10 minutes”. Why seal the gates of Mordor when the chief guest himself hadn’t arrived? Who did he think he was? Gandalf, saying “Thou shalt not pass”? Jeez!

Anyway, half an hour later, when the clock struck 10:30 PM IST, the chief guest arrived and the program began, initiated with a brief procession organized by the NCC Club, followed by a song sung by the CAT Team. The dignitaries occupied the seats placed on the stage, and a series of speeches ensued. Most of the speeches contained some advice, although I fail to recall who said what. The moment memory chooses to serve me right, I will fill up this section with the advice. Needless to say, the folks who used to sleep in class during lectures, showed no aversion to doing the same even now.

At around 12:30 PM or 1 PM, the moment we, the graduating students, had all been waiting for, finally arrived. The award-distribution session began with the outstanding students of each department being awarded with gold medals, and as it turned out, the outstanding student among all the outstanding students was 1RV09CS043 from RVCE CSE, who received a standing ovation from students of his department.

After this, every graduating student went on-stage, one by one, department-wise, preceded by their department’s rank-holders, to collect his/her provisional degree certificate (or PDC, as it was fondly called) from the treasurer and have his/her photo clicked by the professional photographer whose services he/she had reluctantly paid for, a few hours earlier.

This GIF was created by Troy

It was during this time that it began raining cats and dogs, rather intermittently with a light shower every few minutes followed by heavy downpour every few seconds – the wrath of the gods was being witnessed first-hand. Even the roof of the marquee failed to withstand the “challenge”, as the MC chose to call it while making an unnecessary comment on the dais, which went something like “Looks like the rain is challenging us! Hehehe!” What happened to the roof, you ask? Well, rain water began pouring (and by that, I don’t mean like drops of water trickling down. It was as if a pipe had burst somewhere) in through numerous spots in the roof, as shown in the video, but the show still went on – A classic example of never giving up even in the face of adversity. If one wished to have a shower, albeit a cold one, there couldn’t have been a better moment.

In the midst of this entire hullabaloo, one of the resident-dogs of RVCE chose to grace this delightful occasion with his presence. He appeared out of nowhere and trotted down the aisle towards the stage, and just when everyone thought he would climb up the stairs and turn into a photo-bomber, he took a right turn, went underneath some chairs and disappeared as suddenly as he had appeared.

Anyway, after all of us had obtained our PDCs from the hands of one of the dignitaries, it was time for us to take the students’ oath, which we had to recite out loud, contrary to the rumors that had us believe we had to write it in blood, just like Tom Sawyer and his friends…ok…I was just kidding. I’ll save myself the trouble of articulating the proceedings of the oath-taking session, by showing you a video.

As is customary, once we were all sworn in, we threw our hats into the air. One guy was so overwhelmed by what he had just been through that he threw his hat in a direction that wasn’t vertically upwards. Needless to say, his hat was (not well) received by another poor soul standing way behind.

Following this, an announcement over the loudspeaker informed us that the program had come to an end and lunch was available in the Cauvery and Diamond Jubilee hostel blocks. No sooner was this announcement made than Loepo N and his gang appeared out of thin air, requested us to hand over our robes and depart. We did so, but right after we took our time posing for photographs – after all, this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. When I handed over my robe and hat, Loepo N put a tick mark against my name in the register he possessed in his hand, after which he handed me an envelope. “Is this a farewell gift?” I asked myself. I examined the contents of the envelope and deduced that it contained Rs. 350. “Wow!” said I, to nobody in particular. It was only five minutes later that I, like the tubelight I was, realized that this was a portion of the money I had handed to Loepo N earlier that day, as collateral for the robe. *Sigh. Why am I such a dufus?*

Funnily enough, it was raining no longer. My friends and I headed to the Diamond Jubilee hostel to satisfy our growing hunger – Sheesh! It was already 2:30 PM, and we hadn’t eaten yet.

And boy, was it a long walk! We passed by the RVCE Cooperative Society, which brought back memories of standing in long queues, trying to purchase data sheets, lab records, CAED books, RVCE notebooks (that weren’t as great as the Classmate notebooks that contained bits and pieces of useful and useless information that we used to read and/or modify during boring lectures), glue sticks (and blue books for internals, back in 1^st and 2^nd years) at the last moment. And Casio 991 MS? How can I forget?

Directly opposite the Cooperative Society stood the mini-canteen, and I wouldn’t be doing it justice if I didn’t mention the loads of memories that popped into my mind at that very moment. Sure, we all used to complain about the exorbitant pricing and the weird recipes that the owners used to come up with, but how can we ever forget the concoctions made by combining, in various quantities, buns, cutlets, samosas, cheese, chips and noodles; and Chinese samosa to top it all (which, for your kind information, happened to be a great big flop). I mean, even McDonald’s could have picked up a few tips from these guys! Mug-noodles, cup-noodles – you name it, they had it (and just in case they didn’t, the owners had a great knack of “cooking up” something). Bun-Cheese-Chips-Samosa?? Where have you even come across such a thing? But, truth be told, this was a hot favourite among the wild life of RVCE too, namely the dogs and monkeys who lived within our campus. There were even a few occasions when parrots chose to visit this zone. The mini-canteen was a great feasting ground where humans and animals came to meet at various times of the day. Rumour has it that eating was only a secondary objective for some people who visited the mini-canteen, their primary objective being…uhmmm…we won’t get into that, shall we? Oh…sauce! Seriously! Don’t even get me started about the number of times we had to search for that pesky sauce bottle – many times, the search turned into a sort of treasure hunt. Ice-Cream Candies during the summer – nothing could ever come close to beating that. Being close to the CSE department, the mini-canteen was a good place to replenish our classroom reserves with eatables just before a lecture began.

A little way down the road in front of the mini-canteen, you can spot RVCE’s Library and Information Centre. Home to a number of books (which, unfortunately for me, didn’t include novels), this was a place we visited a few days before exams to…you guessed it…borrow books when we hadn’t purchased them yet, or when the said books weren’t to be found elsewhere on the planet. During those times when a book was hard to find in any shop, one of us would borrow a copy from the library (or elsewhere) and we would go to the adjoining Xerox Centre (below the browsing centre, which I’ll get to in a little while) and make hundreds of copies for every Tom, Dick and Harry in our class. And it wasn’t only our department that did this. Others did it too. Rumour has it that at the rate at which items were Xeroxed from morning to night on all days except Sundays, the owners of the Xerox shop would have more knowledge about textbooks than any engineering student of RVCE. Woah!!

Remember the browsing centre I mentioned a few sentences earlier? Well, many may not have visited it due to the ultra-low internet speeds and prehistoric computers (filled with viruses) within its walls, but there existed a time when we actually did visit it, albeit infrequently, back in 2009 and 2010, before the proliferation of smartphones (in RVCE, at least). I’m sure it will always be remembered by my friends and me, for the brilliant and absolutely crazy conversation we had with one of our classmates, using the recently-formed class email-ID that was, unlawfully, taken over by said group to, among other things, have fun and control the world of RVCE. Those who were part of that conversation will remember the association with Hotel Dreamland. Things change, and so did the staircase connecting the Xerox centre and the browsing centre, for, you see, the top (not the bottom) of the staircase was blocked with a WALL, for reasons still unknown.

From the Xerox Centre, one can get a good view of the Chemical Engineering department, which also houses the Physics and Chemistry departments – home to memories of experiments (especially the titration experiments) in first year, where even a slight error in measurement meant redoing the entire experiment again. Jinkchak – the nickname of a wonderful teacher after whom this very blog was named – used to belong to the Chemistry department. RM – the psychologicochemistry teacher too. And how can I forget the English classes of first year, held in the basement of that building? Oh my! I do miss those days! But wait…I ain’t finished yet.

So, coming back to the Present (I know, I know…This is about the 10^th time I’ve come back, but please bear with me), my friends and I continued walking towards the Golden Jubilee hostel – the same hostel where we had had our first breakfast on Inauguration Day, Sunday, August 30^th, 2009 AD – our very first step into a life of Engineering.

On our way, we passed by the football field and the tennis court. The now empty and barren field was always occupied during college fests. I remember one occasion when DH (our BME teacher made a rather feeble attempt at playing cricket) and many other teachers played cricket, which was highly commendable.

Being a day scholar, hostels, to me, were always shrouded in a cloud of mystery, but one of my friends – Hote, to be more specific – helped clear that cloud, starting from the the Diamond Jubilee block to the Chamundi Block and finally, to the MV block. And the things we found on his laptop and what we did to his laptop – well, that’s a story for another time.

Returning to the Present, we all made our way to the hostel, stood in the ever-growing queue of students and parents, and eventually had our lunch, followed by a bout of unlimited ice-creams and bananas. Once all our hunger was wholly or partially satisfied, we headed outside only to be greeted with more rainfall – yes, the clouds had awoken once again. Lingering around the hostel’s entrance, with nothing else to do, we began conversing with every person we chanced to meet, and the most common enquiry of the day was “When are you joining?”  and if one answered in the affirmative, then “How’s work?” would be the very next question – Well, that escalated pretty quickly! Some were awestruck by those who still had one month left before beginning work. Deep discussions ensued in the midst of photo sessions, which I apologize for not mentioning earlier, began as soon as it had started raining again.

Anyway, once this business was finished, we bid farewell to whomever we chanced to meet, including the dogs of RVCE – seriously! They never ceased to amaze me, especially that one time when a white dog’s legs had been dipped in something that resembled black ink. For the next two weeks, many of us thought that this dog was “suffering” from a genetic ailment. We found three dogs, lying peacefully, on the seat of the RVCE Garbage-collecting electric vehicle. No sooner had I taken out my camera to capture the scene than two of them woke up from their slumber and scurried away from the impending danger. The newly-acquired space due to the two dogs’ departure provided ample opportunity for one fellow (who goes by the name of Troy) to display his courage to all bystanders by sitting next to the sleeping dog, who wasn’t sleeping any longer, thanks to this entire hullabaloo.

When the rain ceased, few headed home after bidding tearful goodbyes while others went out to celebrate. Some went to Gopalan Arcade near R.R.Nagar’s arch, which was our place of celebration at the end of any exam season. I still remember how we had a tradition of watching movies at the end of every semester, till 3^rd year. Kites; Pirates of the Carribean; No one killed Jessica; Mission Impossible 4; and Race 2 among others. That was so long ago… Deciding whether to go to McDonald’s or KFC without making the veggies feel left out; Univercell – where we used to window-shop and never buy anything; Scary House – although it didn’t stand the test of time, it does bring back some fond and “loud” memories; the millions of times we used to just randomly walk about from floor to floor; the Snooker table on the topmost floor; GoPub – which had arrived only a few months ago. Well, some folks visited it on the evening of July 20^th. Rumour has it that some guy was in such an inebriated state that he mistook sweet corn vegetable soup for payasam. Someone else decided to practice chemistry one last time, and mixed lemons, beer and sweet corn vegetable soup in one glass, and gave it to this drunk guy who drank it with no recognition at all, until someone informed him of its ingredients. The lemon guy from The End is Nigh, fondly known as Tony Stark, decided to get drunk on Pepsi in KFC instead of joining the party here.

All in all, it was a great ending to a brilliant episode of our lives – not just this day! No! This was the end of a grand era of 4 years (or more) that we had all crossed together, with unforgettable friendships made over the years and experiences of a lifetime never to be forgotten, forever etched in the sands of time – Oh! Tell me how I can ever forget them!

It was growing dark now. Super Mario and I caught a bus to Majestic, and as I gazed out the window beside my seat, I noticed the clouds gathering together, ready to burst at any moment – symbolic, ain’t it? I looked up at the starless sky above, and then it struck me – our memories too lay in the cloud. No, seriously! It lay in the cloud, only on jinkchak.wordpress.com – A blog created to satisfy a whim of mine, way back on April 30, 2010 AD. I never knew it would turn into a repository for all our (yes, our, not mine alone) memories collected during our tenure in RVCE, and this, my friends, is my gift to you all. When it was first conceived, I never imagined it would grow so big with around 90 posts. My sincere thanks go out to those who supported me in all my endeavours, especially you, reader. I am also grateful to Namma Field (you know who you are) as well as the guest authors such as “The Old aka New Godfather”, Isaac Asimov, John Grisham, Robin Cook, Super Mario, The Boss, Happy-Happy Boy and “You-Know-Who” (all these are aliases, of course). I must not fail to thank the good Samaritan who created our class email-ID: rvce.cs.b.2013@gmail.com – It was put to good use.

Well, the time for me to acknowledge that the end is here, has finally arrived. All that’s left of RVCE are just memories. Time machines still don’t exist, but as long as the cloud exists, we’ll always have a way to relive some of those memories (just like the pensieve from Harry Potter’s universe), even when time takes us far far away from the Present, which it definitely will, as we embark on new voyages to unknown places. Cheers to the good ol’ days, frozen with words, photos and videos!

“Growing up happens in a heartbeat. One day you’re a fresher, the next day you’re an alumnus. But the memories of college life stay with you for the long haul. I remember a place, a class, a building, like a lot of buildings. A class like a lot of other classes. On a road like a lot of other roads. And the thing is, after all these years, I still look back…with wonder.” – Kevin Arnold (this quote has been modified slightly)

Goodbye, Class of 2013. I’m really going to miss you all. I know this post was extremely long, but I just couldn’t help it – and even after all this, there’s so much that I’ve left out. The good times; the bad times; even the supercalifragilisticexpialidocious times; the lessons of life that I learned; the staff of RVCE; the people I met; the friends I made; the memorable incidents and everything else that I learned along the way – I’ll never ever forget.

Coming back to the Present, I had reached the Majestic bus-stand by now. I got down at Platform No. 19 (no three-quarters here), and it was here that I realized my journey had come to an end where it had begun a long time ago! Here I was, a person different from the one I was, four years ago! It was at this time that I decided to pen the article you are reading right now. It’s been a fascinating and magical voyage indeed, and one I’ll never ever forget.

So, I guess this is it, isn’t it? My tale has come to an end. Thank you for staying for so long. This is me…yeah ME! signing off from Jinkchak…It’s been a pleasure knowing you all, and I have had the time of my life writing articles for The Jinkchak Blog.

Here’s to the new memories we will create as we find our way through the different paths we have chosen…

Account Terminated.
This message was brought to you by The 21st Century Me…yeah ME! Production Company.

Anatomy of a Final-Year Project

Dedicated to my project teammates – Troy and Abed 

Final Year Project Work – 4 words capable of inducing consternation as well as joyful exuberance in any final-year student of RVCE, depending on one’s outlook! But why are these words shrouded in a cloud of mystery? Is Project work as dull and dreary as those who went before you had you believe? Or does it invoke a sense of mysticism inexplicable to all but those who have experienced it first-hand?

Well, I know not if you understood what I have just written, but I’ll leave you to ponder over it, for, I come not to complain about or praise project work. I come to present to you Jinkchak’s Survival Guide to Final Year Project Work. Tried but never tested, this guide, written in an algorithmic format, will surely help you in ways you’ve never dreamed of. Some points might be best suited only to the CSE domain, but I do urge you to continue reading since I’m sure you’ll find some commonality even if you aren’t from the CSE department.

Contents

Chapter 1: Our choices show what we truly are — January

Your final stint in RV begins during the last few days of this cold month. Pre-occupied with thoughts of how you’ll make this semester memorable, you will be notified by way of the…wait for it…notice board that you have to select a topic for your project.

Two sheets containing the list of topics along with their respective guides’ names will be put up. The topics are usually based on a guide’s research interests. Getting a good topic and a good guide together is a rarity.

Now, there are a variety of ingenious strategies you can follow to gauge which topics are most suitable. If honour codes do not make any sense to you, then strategies 1 to 3 are for you. The others – read strategies 4 to 7.

1. If websites like 1000projects.org are your cup of tea, then all your troubles are over. Choose a topic for which a readymade project is easily available online. Remember, the key word here is “Readymade”.
2. If you’re one of those who is of the opinion that 1000projects.org and the like are not stylish enough, then institutes might suit your taste. With the multitude of “project institutes” popping up all around the city, with the sole aim of selling projects and teaching buyers (students) how to use them and palm it off as if they (the students) are the creators themselves, there isn’t any dearth of choices. Choose a topic for which you can purchase your project (and gratis training) from an institute, for a meagre sum of Rs. 10000 or more.
3. If you’re one of the more fortunate ones who knows a senior (or anyone for that matter) who is more than willing to oblige you by donating his/her project to you, then do not hesitate to jump at this chance.
4. If you are one of those whose code of honour is at stake or if you like to work on projects to learn or if you’re just plain confused, then the aforementioned approaches may not be to your liking. Choose an interesting topic from the list. If you have a good topic in mind which isn’t in the list, then choose a guide who will allow you to pursue it.
5. If you’re one of those who doesn’t give two hoots about the topic, then your next option is to choose a good guide, and the word “good” has different connotations here.
6. Well, if you’ve been fortunate enough to be blessed with an internship during this period, feel free to register your internship project as your main project, although I should warn you that there are downsides to this decision. That’s why some students who are interning, prefer to work on a separate project in college, but we’ll talk about that later.
7. If you’re still confused and undecided about your topic, go back to step 1.

Now that you’ve finally narrowed down your choice, choosing teammates is your next task. Well, not if you’ve already decided before-hand, and by before-hand, I mean weeks before, if not months or years before. Be that as it may, one thing is certain – most of the time, your group will end up like this (even if you’re planning to copy your project): The left-most guy/gal is usually the most sought after. The next two people provide some sort of comic-relief to the group, during trying times, while the rightmost fool creates emotional drama in the month of May, but we’ll get to that later.

Figure 1: Group Members

Not to mention the occasional squabble in your group about who is working and who isn’t. A team in which every member contributes to the project in whatever way he/she can or at least makes an effort to do so – Such teams do exist.

Chapter 2: Stupid Cupid — February

This is usually the month when love is “supposedly” in the air. However, you, my friend, have another task to think about, provided you’re doing the project yourself without the aid of institutes and the like.

1. You will spend this month (and possibly half of the next) researching your topic, the most notable source being the World Wide Web.
2. At times, depending on your guide’s frame of mind, this source may not suffice. Some guides revere only IEEE papers (nothing more, nothing less), and if Google Scholar doesn’t come to your rescue, you might find yourself in the Digital library of RVCE on rare occasions, waiting for a vacant computer which you can use to download IEEE papers, thanks to RVCE’s subscription.
3. Most of the time, the subscription helps but there are occasions when even this subscription won’t cover the paper you wish to download. Well, all I can say is: Change the topic OR Come up with another solution.
   
4. You can even go back to the old-school method of heading to the RVCE library (or any library for that matter) and searching through those good old physical books, which are pretty decent if you know where to look.

Chapter 3: Eat, Sleep, Code — March

By now, you should have some inkling of an idea about what your topic is all about, and what you aim to accomplish. If you aren’t, then woe unto thee!

Anyway, with your entire research ready, you are all set to get down to business. Before going any further, let me draw your attention to the type of guides that are usually encountered, since this makes a lot of difference in the long run.

1. 1. Those who are passionate about their work and perhaps, wish to instill the same passion in you. Their demands will usually be high but it is well worth it “because you’re worth it”…Ok..ok..I just couldn’t resist. 😛
2. 2. Those who are least bothered about what you do, as long as you are doing it yourself and not buying your project from an institute.
3. Those who have a slight idea of what you’re project is all about.
4. Those who haven’t the faintest idea what your project is about.
5. Those who allow you to work on whatever you want, so long as you deliver and publish an IEEE Paper (with their names in it) in the end.
6. Those who DO NOT allow you to work on whatever you want. Publishing an IEEE Paper is a must, and they usually give more importance to report-writing than the actual coding (or whatever) required by the project.
7. Those who possess the gift of the gab. If you have such a guide, you might find yourself listening to them speak for at least an hour, non-stop.(A guy called Tapia had such a guide. On one occasion, after his guide had completed one of his 1-hour long speeches, Tapia excused himself at once and ran out of his guide’s staff-room and lay down flat on the floor outside for a few minutes. Following this incident, Tapia tried his best to avoid meeting his guide as much as possible; instead allowing his teammates to bear the brunt, so to speak.)

I think I’ve drifted from the topic at hand long enough. So, coming back to the month of March! Your actual work begins now. Sure, you can postpone this to the month of April, but better safe than sorry, right? So, let’s assume you choose to start your actual work in March (or latest, by the Ides of March). Speaking from the point of view of a CSE student, here’s the complete lowdown of a typical scenario.

1. Gather the “working” members of your team – (the first 3 guys from the left, in Fig. 1).
2. Have a fruitful discussion over a bowl of fruit. Decide who will work on what aspect of the project, and then wonder what those “aspects” are.
3. Repeat Step 2 at least 10 times. You’ll find that each discussion leads to a different decision.
4. Shift your discussion rooms to the Web. With the multitude of networking apps, you’ll be spoiled for choice. If you wish to appear professional, use websites such as this: http://www.bitrix24.com/ . Discuss your ideas and tasks here for a week. Then, shift to good ol’ Google+. Create a secret group and now discuss with the help of Hangouts.
5. After each discussion, you’ll be left wondering what that off-topic discussion accomplished.
6. After going around in circles from hangout to hangout (or rather, after iterating through steps 1 to 4 umpteen times), finally meet up in college and get down to brass tacks. Time will be slipping by and one person from your team (if not your good self) will finally realize that it’s time to finally wake up.
7. This person will create a repository on Github and start coding
8. Inspired, all the working members of the team will also join in.
9. (Optional) Choose a song to listen to, while working on your project. Let it be the theme song for your project. For us, it was

Work begins in full swing, and now everyone lives happily ever after – NOT! An important word of advice – Google+ Hangouts can never be used to discuss your project work and strategies, since for some reason, the topic always tends to shift to something unrelated. Whatsapp is more suitable for discussions that (mostly) tend to stay on track.

Chapter 4: Write and write again until you succeed — Mid-April

If you thought that creating (or development) was all that your project entailed, then I must tell you how wrong you are. Project-Report – why do I dread these words? You’ll find out soon enough.

You should have finished a major part of your development by now. If not, hurry up, for you’ll find your hands tied soon. Let’s peek at the first aspect of Report-work, which is nothing but the preparation of the report, and it entails the following:

1. Decide whether you wish to stick to Microsoft Word or shift to Latex (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LaTeX). If you chose the former option, go to step 2. Otherwise go to step 3.
2. You’ve chosen Microsoft Word. Welcome to your worst nightmare! Spend many nights fixing misalignments and incorrect page numbering. Wish to insert a new chapter in between two other chapters. Best of luck renumbering figures, etc. Oh..Did I mention the Contents Page or the insertion of images that make your text go haywire? Enjoy! Don’t say you weren’t warned before! Go to step 4.
   
3. You’ve chosen Latex, which “encourages the separation of layout from content while still allowing manual typesetting adjustments where needed”. Congratulations on your decision. Although it does have a learning curve (that isn’t that steep if you use templates), once you get the hang of it, report writing will be a breeze.
   
4. Whether you intend to plagiarize content from elsewhere or intend to write everything yourself is a choice you have to make for yourself (or your team).
5. Be prepared to receive numerous corrections from your guide. Corrections will usually be along these lines: “References. Add more references, ya. Why can’t you add some latest papers? And this bibliography is not in the proper format. More references. Why is this figure so big? Make it smaller. Why is this figure small? Make it bigger. You know everything but you are not able to convey it. What ya? Where are the key findings? You must write properly and come.”
6. Usually, you’ll be asked to make a draft “physical” copy for your guide to correct.
7. Present this draft copy to your guide.
8. Your guide will highlight changes to be made, with red ink and will reprimand you at times.
9. Make the necessary corrections.
10. Repeat steps 5 to 9 at least 10 times. In Report Writing, one does not simply make a draft copy without any mistakes.
11. Don’t be abashed when you’re informed by your guide(s), right after you’ve finished making all the corrections, that you “have to make the report in Word compulsorily”. Pay no heed to that and stay firm, no matter what! Sooner or later, you can count on them forgetting about it in most cases.

Chapter 5: Patience is a virtue and The Chamber of Secrets — May

If you thought that completing the report is the last of your troubles, think again! After spending around two or three weeks on report-writing alone, it’s signature time!! Firstly, you must be ready with a spiral-bound copy of your report, duly signed by your guide after you’ve incorporated all changes. After this, you will be asked to show your report to “the committee”.

Now, you might be under the impression that this committee sits around a table in some room of your department. Think again! The members of this committee prefer to remain in their respective staff-rooms. The committee consists of 6 members of the faculty, whose identities vary depending on the project group. So, in order to obtain a signature from the committee, you have to go to 6 different people and obtain their autographs, one by one. You also have to take into account the time during which they are available. On average, this entire process might cost you an entire day or two. Patience is the key here. And a will to survive the scorching summer heat!

Got the last signatory’s autograph? The committee would have found loads of mistakes in the format. Make those changes and make another spiral-bound copy. Lost track of how many copies have been made till now? That’s precisely what I was hoping for.

Done? Don’t pat yourself on the back yet. You ain’t seen nothing yet! Now, you need to obtain a signature from Professor Dumbledore, and you can take a wild guess as to who that is! As for the 4th type of person in figure 1 – You might have already forgotten about him/her by now – no point in even getting furious. It is usually during this time that he/she usually wakes up and remembers that he/she is part of “a” project group – it’ll be quite some time before he/she remembers who his/her teammates are; this person will appear out of thin air, figuratively, and keep asking, “Hey! Where is the project? Where is the project? What should I do? Is everything done? Hey! Hey! Thanks. Thanks. Where is the project? What are you doing now?” very energetically. Whether you decide to forgive this incompetent soul or banish him/her from your kingdom forever, is entirely left to you.

If you manage to get into Dumbledore’s chamber, half the battle is won. But getting in isn’t a walk in the park. It requires a lot of perseverance and seemingly endless waiting. Those who enter the chamber and finish the process before you will tell you loads of horror stories, but you’ve got to keep calm. After all, it’s of no use if you give up now, after coming this far.

You’ll find that every group spends at least 1 hour in Dumbledore’s chamber. So, if you’re not an early bird and don’t stand in the queue early, you’ll end up waiting for many hours or days together, waiting for an opportunity to enter the Chamber of Secrets. Mind you, there is no time limit. Dumbledore processes requests even during midnight. Remember to call your guide to your location when your turn nears.

While you dilly-dally in the waiting area outside his chambers, you can bide your time by talking to the other groups and about their projects. In the midst of all this, some guides will ask their students to barge ahead of the crowd and give the report Dumbledore (possible by storming into his chamber). But the students will be too scared to do that, partly because the other students in the waiting area (including you) might be giving them the dirtiest of looks.

Sooner or later, you will all start wondering why you are being put through all this torture. Someone will suggest going on a protest march. Others might suggest that a letter be written to Dumbledore. You might begin to wonder why a token system for appointments isn’t followed. Just when you’re extremely exhausted and frustrated to your wit’s end, it will be your group’s turn to enter the Chamber of Secrets. All your promises to protest will be forgotten in the midst of your anxiety. Now, the only thing you’ll be worried about is whether those horror stories are true or not. Needless to say, your guide should have arrived by now. Otherwise, you’ll be in for a long wait again.

This is the second half of the battle. Inside Dumbledore’s chamber, the atmosphere will be similar to what one can imagine the atmosphere at Snape’s office would be. Two tables lie on opposite ends of the room.

Surprisingly, you’ll discover that the AC that is close to the table that Dumbledore is sitting at, isn’t switched on and the AC close to the other table is!

Seated at the far end of one of the tables, Dumbledore will welcome your group and say – “It is only fair that you people also enjoy the AC”, after which the long process of the project review will begin. Your guide(s) will also be jostling for a seat around Dumbledore, to show that they have a sense of fear (Personally, I think they wish that the process gets over as soon as possible so that they can rush off to their homes).

On first glance you may not notice it, but on second glance, you’ll notice a stack of Dumbledore’s reports placed on the table in a skewed line. Oh! What secrets would those reports reveal if they could speak!

And with this, the review process will be declared open.

Here is the general pattern that is usually observed in this process, written by one of Jinkchak’s unreliable sources, namely Isaac Asimov.

Dumbledore

1. first goes through the abstract and makes the following comments – “See, the abstract should be in layman terms. It should be easily understandable even to a non-engineer (So, why don’t we all become laymen and stop studying engineering completely?). You should make sure that it should not be very complex. Keep that for your IEEE journals!”
2. goes through the introduction chapter and makes the following comments – “I don’t see any references at all. Are there no latest papers on this subject? See, you need to put more references. Original work is great, but you need to refer papers!”
3. now goes back to the abstract and makes the same statements he made in point 1.
4. goes through the SRS (Software Requirements Specifications) chapter without much fuss.
5. goes back to the abstract chapter again and the introduction and repeats steps 1 and 2.
6. goes through the High Level Design and makes this comment – “The figure captions should be self explanatory and you should refer the figure by its number somewhere in the report!”
7. goes through detailed design and makes the same comments as in step 6.
8. goes through the entire contents again from the abstract and repeats whatever he has said till this point. AGAIN!
9. goes through the Implementation and makes no comments because there are no comments to be made about this unit.
10. goes through the testing chapter and makes the following comments – “The table captions should be more elaborate! Make sure that they are done. I don’t see any numbers! put some numbers in every paragraph!”
11. goes through the whole document again from the beginning. Cracks a few jokes.
12. goes through experiment analysis and results (many people skip this chapter completely!) and makes these comments – “Where is the math? Where are the numbers? Oh! here they are! These graphs are unclear! make them clearer.”
13. goes through the conclusion and says “Good work!” to almost everyone.
14. goes through the entire report again.
15. goes through the references. No matter how perfect, he will find mistakes here. He wants the location of every conference that you have made a reference to. And no, you are not allowed to put URLs in the references, because, apparently, they aren’t reliable references. (Well, blow me down!)

He makes a note of the changes he has suggested on his netbook. And finally, he imprints his coveted autograph on your report! (I think it would be easier to get Sachin Tendulkar’s signature in a cricket stadium!). You might also be wondering how “the committee” didn’t catch all the errors that Dumbledore had caught! Well, don’t look at me – I have no idea!

Phew! Wasn’t that rad? That autograph is the product of your sweat and blood. So, even if you’ve copied or bought your project from an institute, you can convince yourself that you worked very hard in obtaining a signature from Dumbledore – A Herculean task indeed! Makes you wonder why reports are given more importance than the actual project itself, doesn’t it? Why is Dumbledore interested only in the format? Will we ever have a clearer answer?

Snatch your signed report from Dumbledore’s hands and leave the room at once. It’s time to incorporate the changes Dumbledore asked for. Time to…wait! WHAT THE HELL!!! YOU’VE JUST HAD ENOUGH! THAT’S ALL YOU CAN STAND AND YOU CAN STAND NO MORE!!! FORGET THE CHANGES!! You’re too tired. Go to the printout shop opposite college (or the Student Xerox shop in Kengeri) and print out your unchanged project report document on Bond paper. (N+2) copies of your report (hard bound) are required, where N is the number of members of your project group. 1 of those 2 extra copies is for your guide and the other is for your department lab, to be placed there for posterity. True, you have to wait for your printouts, but you can rest assured that this is the very last time that you have to wait for anything related to your project report.

Once you’ve got all the necessary printouts, go to college – it’s not over yet. You still need signatures on these new reports, from Dumbledore. So, don’t go to him. As it turns out, Dumbledore has bestowed the power of signing to one of his subordinates. There won’t be any unnecessary waiting this time. His subordinate just signs your new reports without verifying anything at all. Absolutely no one needs to see the report that had red marks made by Dumbledore’s pen!

Now, relax till the day of your external exam.

Remember how I mentioned that there are downsides to submitting your internship project as your final year project – well, this is one of them. You’ll have to go through the aforementioned report-writing process single-handedly, and that’s one helluva task to do alone! You can ask your other teammates to help out with the report work. Whether you can get away by dumping all of the report work onto them, depends on who your teammates are. 😛

Chapter 6: D-DAY

Sometime in the last 2 weeks of May, you will have to present your work to an external examiner, who will determine whether your project is worthy of his/her attention. A day before D-Day, you would have prepared a presentation and decided who will speak what in your team. Those who have copied or bought their projects would have stayed up all night, practicing all methods of deceiving and/or charming the external examiner.

This is the day you’ve been preparing for – all the fruits of your labour have been paving the way to this very occasion. Just pray that your external examiner is worthy enough and consider yourself lucky if yours is the first batch of the day to present. If not, feel free to roam around the campus and rest on the lawn in the campus.

You could also watch the presentations of the other teams. You’ll be astonished by how teams that have bought their project manage to convince the examiner that it is their very own – deception is certainly an art! You’ve got to witness this first-hand or get information from other sources since I don’t wish to be accused of libel.

Once in a while, you’ll find a team that has worked very hard on a project but receives no appreciation whatsoever, other than a sharp dismissal. Whether you’ve actually worked on your project or copied it or bought it, you will, eventually, receive an ‘S’ grade. There might be an occasional exception to the rule, however, and when this misfortune befalls a team that has worked diligently on their project, it does seem disheartening and leads one to question the justice of this system. But hey – this was supposed to be a survival guide, not a debate. C’est la vie!

So, with that thought still lingering in your mind, present your project when your turn arrives – give it your best shot. No matter what the consequences might be, you know what you’ve done and what you deserve – you are accountable to yourself. You’ve just been through a fascinating ride (albeit with all its flaws, but that doesn’t make it any less fascinating) – one you’ll remember for many years to come!

Once you complete your final presentation, you are required to give a CD containing your entire project to one of the lab attenders, right after you load its contents into one of the lab computers. Once you are done, leave the lab and…

Rejoice! Celebrate! You’ve come so far…It’s over! Yes! That’s right – it’s finally over!

What happened after this? Well, “If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.” – Mozzie (White Collar), who in turn, quotes Orson Welles. So, I’m going to stop this story right here. 🙂

And that, folks, is the anatomy of a Final Year Project! A legen…wait for it…DARY Adventure! Sure, some things could have been better, if not a whole lot better…but it is a one-of-a-kind experience, flaws and all. You couldn’t have had such an experience anywhere else. There are a number of useful and useless lessons you can carry away with you. But the memories – there’s no way you can ever forget them!

Written by
Me…yeah ME!

Here’s a big Thank you to Isaac Asimov (name changed), who wrote the entire section on Dumbledore. Thank you, Troy and Abed, for making my final-year project so memorable and fantabulous. To all those who recounted their experiences related to Project work – thank you. This wasn’t just one story – it was a collection of stories told together.

Disclaimer: This article was written with the intent of bringing to the fore certain observations to its readers, besides entertainment. It was, in no way whatsoever, created to offend or defame anyone. If it did, I apologize! All the images are the properties of their respective owners.

Yours Sincerely, Data Sheet – Part 3: “Oye! Extra Data Sheet Hai Kya?”

R.V. College of Engineering,
R.V. Vidyanikethan Post,
Mysore Road,
Bangalore – 560059

21st June, 2013 AD

Dear Student (of the 2013 batch),

This is a continuation of my previous letter, dated 10th January, 2013 AD. If you haven’t read it already, I urge you to head here – https://jinkchak.wordpress.com/2013/04/21/yours-sincerely-data-sheet-part-2-does-the-word-turbo-ring-a-bell/ right away.

Now that you’ve finished reading my previous letter, allow me to proceed.

Let’s shift to the topic of autographs. Obtaining an autograph meant that you had acquired the privilege of copying my contents into my sibling – the lab record, which had to be shown in the next lab session for evaluation.

Writing in the record and data sheets was more of a chore for you, really! A few enjoyed it. Others cursed all day long. Speaking of writing, I think it’s about time I told you how I have classified you all, as I mentioned earlier, based on the time at which you all decide (if you decide at all) to initiate the transmission of ink from your pen to my surface to form legible/illegible text and tidy/untidy diagrams. This classification is applicable in CS as well as non-CS labs. So, here it is:

1. Those who firmly believe in the adage, “The early bird catches the worm”. If ‘x’ represents the number of days before the deadline by which writing has to be completed, then they would have completed writing at x ≥ 2.
2. Those who stay up all night, one day before the deadline, and complete their record work and/or data sheet work.
3. Those who firmly believe in the adage, “Better late than never”, and complete all writing exercises inside the classroom before, during or after class-hours, though most students prefer to do this during class-hours. Some even choose to sacrifice the break/lunch time to accomplish their mission.They can simultaneously belong to category 1 as well (if x > 0).It’s really a sight to witness a whole lot of students writing on me and my sibling right under a teacher’s nose. Of course, no one in his/her right mind does it in plain sight, unless, of course, they are extremely sure that they won’t be caught for any reason whatsoever. The art of deception has been practiced and perfected over the years, and passed down from generation to generation and somehow, I managed to get my hands on some of the strategies that students follow (The Holy Grail of deception, so to speak) :
   1. Pretend that one is taking down notes diligently, while, in reality, one is actually writing a data sheet or record.
   2. Make sure that one looks at the teacher’s face once in a while, and nods one’s head in agreement to what is being said.
   3. One must also ensure that an actual notebook is easily available in the vicinity, should one face the situation where a teacher keeps walking up and down the aisle of the class.
   4. One can lay one’s head down on the desk and pretend to sleep, while one (unbeknownst to all present) writes on one’s data sheets placed on one’s lap. If one is caught, one should make up a story of a headache.
   5. If one is lucky enough to find a tall person to sit behind, such that one is completely blocked from the teacher’s view, then one’s troubles are over.
   6. One should also have access to food and drink from time to time, for writing data-sheets is a difficult and monotonous task, and replenishment is a must.
   7. Finally, one must possess knowledge of the strictness of the teacher under whose invigilation one is planning to write and/or eat.
   8. If one can’t muster up the courage to write inside the classroom and one has to complete writing at all costs, then one has no choice but to bunk that class and write elsewhere.
   9. There are some who always see the glass as half-full, and are sure that the teacher in charge of the respective lab will be lenient, and will allow them to write their data sheets in the lab itself. Whether they actually request for permission to write is left to their discretion.
   10. Those suffering from a mild bout of lazy-i-tus. This group includes those who haven’t even bothered to buy data sheets to write on as well as those who never write because they never attend the lab.

It would be worthwhile to note that although I have described when students choose to write, I haven’t enlightened you on what they choose to write. The categorization is as follows:

1. Those who write everything down to a tee, precisely as given in the respective lab manual.
2. Those who prefer to use a bit of lossy compression and skip a few lines in between (this scenario is especially applicable while writing data sheets for a CS lab).
3. Those who write only on the front page of the data sheet, confident that the teacher won’t bother to examine the contents of the data sheets behind and/or beneath it.
4. Those who see the glass as half-full. When they have written at most half of what they had to write (which doesn’t imply that they have written everything in the specified order), they feel their mission is accomplished and do not continue any further. They hope that the teacher will commend them for at least trying.

Students can be classified based on glue too. Yeah, you read that right. Glue! You see, as per the rules, a signed data sheet (that’s me) has to be stuck inside a record before it is submitted for evaluation. And to stick anything, glue is needed, right? As per my calculations, here’s the classification model:

1. Those who possess glue. Luckily, there’s always at least one person in every class who possesses glue. (In the rarest of rare cases when there is an exception to this “rule”, then one would have to purchase a glue stick (from the Cooperative Society or elsewhere), which will, sooner or later, find its way into the hands of students belonging to the other two categories…Read on.)
2. Those who don’t have their own glue. So, they borrow someone else’s glue and don’t bother to return it to its rightful owner.
3. Those who don’t have their own glue. So, they borrow someone else’s glue and actually return it. This group also includes those who return the glue after completely emptying it.

What happens when students use liquid adhesives and how pages of practical records are consequently destroyed, is a story I’ll leave for another occasion, if you don’t mind!

Similar to the Glue Classification Model (if I may be permitted to call it so), there also exists a classification model based on blank data sheets. Let me show you a picture. Does it ring a bell? Did you ever lend data sheets in response to questions that bore a remarkable resemblance to “Oye! Extra Data Sheets hai kya?”, and later find yourself bereft of data sheets a short while later?

I might have inadvertently forgotten some other classification models, for which I sincerely apologize, even though ♫ it’s too late to apologize. It’s too late ♫…Oops! Sorry. I got carried away.

The Quit “RVCE CSE” Movement, led by Rajnikant and his comrade, which lasted for less than 5 minutes…

Anyway, I would be committing a felonious act if I failed to mention the lab attenders. Some were grumpy; others were jovial; still others swayed from grumpiness to joviality with the passing of every week; some had such pride that even the greatest celebrities would be put to shame; some had more knowledge than even some of your teachers. I bet many of you will remember attenders only by the manner in which they helped you out (if they helped at all) with experiments. All in all, labs wouldn’t have been what they were, had it not been for the lab attenders and their memorable traits.

No matter how hard I try, I shall never ever forget the gaming sessions in the CISCO lab of the CS department, unbeknownst to the teachers in charge, of course…and “the random discussions that I overheard, which rarely had anything to do with academics, if you know what I mean…”

Over the years, I’ve collected a whole lot of unanswered questions. When I’m alone, I often wonder whether CS students would have been so hostile towards me if they didn’t have to write programs on me. What if I was only required when they had to write outputs or just a few points to stimulate their senses while writing programs directly on a lab computer? What if I wasn’t required at all? How many of you actually benefitted by this method of learning lab programs by writing the same thing over and over again? On what basis is the syllabus framed? Why can’t mini-projects be shown on laptops instead of the lab computers? Why isn’t there any Honour Code? I have so many other questions, but I’m getting ahead of myself…I just wonder…

Nevertheless, whatever may be the answers; it’s time for the final curtain to fall. You can say goodbye to me once and for all. No More Data sheets; No more Lab Records; No more manipulation; No more experiment repetition. It’s been a long and fascinating ride indeed, and be grateful that even though you’ve cursed me every so often, I’ve provided you with so many priceless memories that you can carry with you always…I have said more than I wanted to. So, I guess I will head back to the batches that actually require my services…I’m pretty sure that in the future, when you look back at these bygone times, you’ll remember me for at least a second. Here’s looking at you and the good ol’ times, kid! Cheers!

Auf Wiedersehen!

Yours Sincerely,
Data Sheet

 

P.S. Because I’m the hero RVCE deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So you’ll hunt me. Because I can take it. Because I’m not your hero. I’m a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A Dark Data Sheet.

Ok. That doesn’t make any sense, but hey, I wanted to use those lines somewhere. Ok. Ok. I’m leaving…

Disclaimer: This letter was created with the intent of bringing to the fore certain observations to its readers, besides entertainment. It was, in no way whatsoever, created to offend or defame anyone. If it did, I apologize! All characters appearing in this work are fictitious, unless you wish to believe otherwise. All the images are the properties of their respective owners.

The Ultimate Semester

The final countdown began in January, 2013 AD. February came and went. March marched away. We caught but a fleeting glimpse of April. And May – it was closer to the end. Now, it’s June and time for the final curtain call.

Well, what can I say! I can’t believe that the time, when I would find myself typing out the last end-of-semester article, has finally arrived. So, here goes nothing! What happened during these last few months? You might have already guessed what I’m about to say: “Sit down if you aren’t already, and let me tell you a tale like none you have ever heard before”.

Knowing that we, the final year students, would be doing things for, perhaps, the very last time in RVCE; we entered our final semester with heavy hearts, armed with minds inclined to participate in fruitful and fruitless activities such as attending classes; bunking classes; going late to class and the ‘No attendance or stand outside the class’ kind of late; playing with phones in class; sleeping in class; playing Holi; studying for internals; working on or copying assignments; taking photos in class; eating chikkis, and bun-cheese-chips-chinese-samosa-cup-noodles combo meals from the canteens; having long discussions about any topic under the Sun; studying for internals and externals; borrowing books from the library only to make photocopies of them in the Xerox Centre; project work; seminars; taking printouts opposite college; celebrating various occasions, sometimes for no rhyme or reason, in places in and around college – Hotel Dreamland, Kadamba, Cool corner, Laxmi Juice and Chats (the spelling mistake is intentional), Ande ka funda, Rolls Corner, Gopalan Arcade, etc.; birthday bumps; paying fines with challans; travelling in the college bus without a valid bus-pass; playing in the old and new sports complexes (which were extremely complex affairs, indeed); random walks in the campus; and anything else that might have slipped my mind.

Someone clicked this pic just before leaving an exam hall.

At the stroke of the seventeenth hour (give or take a few minutes) of June 3^rd, 2013 AD, most final year students had replaced the caps on their pens, closed their answer sheets after filling them with sense and nonsense, got up from their seats (some of which were absolutely uncomfortable) and departed from their respective exam halls (in different corners of RVCE)…Did they look back? Well, some of them did, knowing that it was perhaps the very last time they would be in this situation again. Were they happy or sad? Well, that’s really hard to tell…

To save myself the trouble of constructing a new paragraph to explain what we did to celebrate this merry (but somewhat poignant) occasion, I’ll reuse a paragraph from a previous “End-Of-Semester” article: Continuing our unspoken tradition, to celebrate this memorable occasion, we made our way to McDonald’s at Gopalan Arcade. Alas! For the fourth time in the history of Jinkchak, some of us failed to catch a flick. Some compensated for this terrible loss by catching a flick a few days later (In most cases, this flick happened to be none other than “Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani”). Others weren’t so fortunate.

So, what exactly did we all do in our final semester?

For one, we had to attend class only twice a week – yup, you read that right! Twice a week, and the real icing on the cake was the fact that these two days were half days. To top it all, there were students who preferred not to grace even these classes with their presence! Many students had lesser attendance than even the dog shown in the photo. Won’t you ask me how many theory subjects we had? Well, I’ll tell you anyway. We had two. Two! After getting used to at least 6 theory subjects per semester, 2 subjects in our final semester was a blessing in disguise.

Intellectual Property Rights (or IPR, as it was “fondly” called) – was one of the subjects we were forced to study, if memory serves me right. If memorizing laws wasn’t your cup of tea, then woe unto thee! The other one was our Global Elective. Don’t even get me started about how we had to select our global electives – brrrr…it still gives me the creeps! Come to think of it, I don’t really need to get started…In fact, everything you need to know regarding the selection process, has been highlighted in these articles by yours truly:

1. The Jinkchak Survival Guide to Selecting Global Electives in RVCE
2. RVCE Log 2013.02.07 – The Global Elective Selection Saga Terminates

This semester saw the return of KiloByte – one of the best teachers of RVCE CSE. As luck would have it, KiloByte taught us IPR! Now, if you’re a regular reader of Jinkchak, you might already be familiar with his name, his deeds and his proverbs. The reason for such familiarity can be ascribed to the fact that KiloByte taught us 4 different subjects in our tenure at RVCE CSE. At times like these, it is usually Jinkchak’s custom to share Proverbs, but this time, I thought I’d try something different since KiloByte’s Proverbs have already been emphasized in previous end-of-semester articles.

He made a lecture on data structures
differ from plain old lectures.
Without him, the stack and the queue
would have been harder to construe.

Microprocessors and Assembly language –
we believed it was all unnecessary baggage,
until, to us, he taught it
with so much passion and wit.

He also taught us Unix
and he taught us so many tricks.
With every demonstration and assignment,
our minds overflowed with so much excitement.

Creations of the mind,
with IPR, he redefined.
KiloByte is his nickname
and teaching is his game.

Oh…I almost forgot to mention that he held our very last official class in RVCE (CSE). Speaking of farewells, remind me not to forget to thank my juniors for throwing a fabulous farewell party. Oh! Wait a minute! Didn’t I already thank them…let me check…yup, I did, and you can verify this fact by going here: So Long, Farewell.

The “official” Farewell Function, organized for us by the staff of RVCE, was a different story altogether and justified the necessity of a stand-alone article, so to speak, that can be found here: The End is Nigh.

To mark this occasion, Akon (our ex-placement coordinator) took the initiative of making sweatshirts for the class of 2013 of RVCE CSE. After heated discussions in our class group on Whatsapp, a design was finally decided upon, and the sweatshirts were stitched and distributed.

But wait…I’m drifting. What was I revealing to you? Oh yes! I was telling you about our subjects. The global elective was a completely different ball game altogether. According to the rule book, one has to choose a subject that is taught by a department other than one’s own. Renewable Energy Sources and Green Technology were the most sought after, by those who wished to have no issues with attendance shortage, considering that each class was held for a time period of two hours! Sitting continuously in class for 1 hour itself was a pain…sitting for 2 hours without a break?! Well, that would be nothing short of excruciating.

On many occasions, a conversation with a student who had chosen Bioinformatics (Tony Stark, for instance), would always be along these lines:

Click to enlarge image

Rumour has it that those who chose Advanced Mathematics had to be as punctual as an atomic clock, for if one arrived to class a minute or two after the stroke of the hour, then one would have to find other ways of recreation in places outside the classroom. Contrary to popular belief, the few who had chosen Java proclaimed that their teacher wasn’t the ill-tempered assignment-bequeathing Nazi that most students had been led to believe. My sources informed me that they received attendance for two hours even if they arrived 1.5 hours late. One chap was so overjoyed with the way the class was handled by the instructor that he/she wrote a letter of appreciation (anonymously) to the instructor, on the Piazza group at https://piazza.com/class#spring2013/globalelectivejava

Proverbs! Oh my goodness! How many memories they bring back! The very first article published on Jinkchak was based on Proverbs. Now, it might come as rather a shock to you, but I can withhold it no longer. I have no more Proverbs to share with you! It’s over! Finished! At the rate at which we attended classes, it would be nothing short of miraculous if one managed to gather proverbs at all. I guess my previous end-of-semester article was the last one that contained Proverbs. I should’ve known. If you, reader, have any proverbs to share, be my guest and share them in the comments section, and I’ll add them here…

Wait…wait…Don’t go…I have so much more to tell you, reader. Please stay! If you want, take a break for five minutes and come back to read the rest of my story.

Welcome back! I hope the short intermission allowed you to rejuvenate. Now, allow me to continue with my tale.

Now the most logical question that might pop into your mind might be: “What the hell were we doing during the rest of the week, if we came to college only twice a week?” Well, I’m so glad you asked! The answer would be: “It depends.” Let me explain.

Some had internships to attend, 3 days a week. Depending on the place of work, some had hectic schedules; some decided to put high-speed internet connections in their offices to good use by downloading pirated movies, the consequences of which are left to your imagination; others had to find work to do; some even had to search for chairs to sit on; some even chose to continue their modus operandi of bunking (and sometimes, mass bunking) office too, but that’s a story for another article.

Apart from internships, students who weren’t interning (and some who were), utilized these three days (or five days, if you count the weekends…or wait…seven days, if one chose not to attend classes at all) for various purposes such as outings to a number of places like Skandagiri, Nandi Hills, Savanadurga and Madikeri.

But wait a minute? Aren’t you wondering why RVCE (a college that seizes every opportunity to cut short our holidays) held classes for us only twice a week? Had RVCE seen the light at last, and pitied our plight? Well, truth be told, they didn’t. We were supposed to go to college during those three days too. Only those who were interning were off the hook. In fact, according to the rules set down by the powers that be, these three days were set aside for project work. The number of students who abided by this rule was lesser than the number of coins returned as change by the cashiers in the main canteen.

Project work? Did I say Project work? Goodness gracious me! What an experience! I could tell you all about it, right here, right now. But then, I wouldn’t have anything to write about in my future articles, would I? Suffice to say, by May, project work had us running around college, with the objective of obtaining approvals and autographs on our reports. Stay tuned for my article on Project work, in the not too distant future.

What else did we do? Well, there were some who spent these days reading confessions and confessing themselves. Oh yes! RVCE hadn’t failed to jump on the “Confessions” bandwagon that had taken Facebook by storm. RVCE had its very own Confession pages (note the plural form), for you see, RVCE wasn’t satisfied with just one confession page. No siree! When the craze first hit RVCE, confession pages started popping up like nobody’s business! 3 or 4 pages called RVCE Confessions. If that wasn’t enough, there were RVCE Love Confessions, RVCE Proposals, RVCE Compliments and even RVCE Faking Confessions and Condiments! A few confessions were interesting to read. Others were plain humbug. Some confessions led to heated arguments that had never been witnessed before, in the history of mankind. Topics ranged from current affairs to love affairs. Whatever the case may be, one thing was certain – students of RVCE were confessing left, right and centre. After the craze died down, https://www.facebook.com/RvceConfessions was the last Confession page standing with more than 400 confessions (and counting) to its credit. In other news, a page proclaiming to be “a platform to showcase the unique and interesting personalities and things of the college” was founded, and it goes by the name of RVCE Noteworthy.

In other news, Faking NEWS @ RVCE continued filling our news feeds with…uhmmm…fake news (and pics of the day for a short while), which kept getting better as time went by. The Prism of Life broke the promise they had made in this article – http://prismoflife.wordpress.com/a-post-every-month/ , by not publishing anything in the month of March. However, they more than made up for it by publishing a multitude of articles in the months that followed. RVCE Connect was rechristened to Edusparc-RVCE, for reasons I cannot fathom. Meanwhile, on February 14th, 2013, some final year students of RVCE CSE released an app on Facebook, called iLike (http://ilike.im/), which claimed to “Anonymously find friends who have a crush on you”. I wonder what Saint Valentine would have said, had he seen this app. In the meantime, RV Memes continued trolling RVCE. This concludes the section on the RVCE Social Network scene.

Now, coming back to the question, What else did we do? Well now, let me see. Many of us used to spend these days reminiscing about our life at RVCE. How we used to diligently listen in class in first year; how we had first met; the funny moments; the sad moments; the indescribable moments! How had time passed by so quickly? Or had it? What did the future hold in store for us? “Work or higher studies?” – this was a common question in many students’ minds.

One maniac got it into his head that our final moments in RVCE should be captured for posterity. What did he do, you ask? He began clicking photos of every possible name, place, animal, thing (remember this game?) in RVCE. Do you recall those strange photo albums with names like The Final Countdown v8.0, v8.1, etc., uploaded by Rvce Cse on Facebook? Most of them belong to this guy.

In what other way did we utilize our time? Starring in and directing movies. Seriously…I ain’t kidding. Here’s one short movie made by a few jobless folks who didn’t have anything better to while away their time.

You might be getting bored out of your wits, so let me now change the subject under discussion. April, 2013 AD will go down in history as the month of Seminars. After selecting topics in the month of March (on a first-come, first-served basis), students were bestowed with the responsibility of finding IEEE papers on the chosen topic. The general tendency was to choose a topic based on the guide. For some, it was no big deal. However, for those who had to choose only from the left-over scraps, scavenging the Internet for good material proved to be a really daunting task. Initially, a neat schedule was laid out, consisting of two phases. Somehow, these two phases were merged into one, which meant that we had to present our seminar only once, at the end of April. Whether this was done for the benefit of the teachers or the students is a matter of utmost speculation. Let’s fast forward to the day on which we presented our work to a panel of judges, comprising members of the faculty, some of whom were least bothered about what we had to say. Needless to say, even one’s own peers didn’t bat an eyelid when one presented on-stage. Apparently, they were too engrossed in their own preparations to be bothered about the others. At times, questions were asked just for the heck of it. Don’t even get me started about our reports. I won’t speak anymore about this topic, since I think the following slideshow (made by Super Mario) does a pretty good job of explaining what I had in mind.

Seminars in RVCE (Final Year) from Rvce Cse

Now, let’s peek at the month of May. The end was nigh. In the midst of all our woes, we were informed that we had to submit all certificates we had acquired, over the past four years, to our respective counselors in order to get credits for a subject called HSS. I have forgotten the full form of this acronym, but that seems to be the least of my worries now. It had something to do with all the extra-curricular activities we had participated in. Anyway, certificates were retrieved (or manufactured) by hook or by crook; rules were changed and grades were allocated based on the certificates obtained over any two years that the candidate chose. All in all, everyone was pleased when this matter finally drew to a close.

Recently, I chanced upon an interesting story related to HSS. Some guy (whom we’ll call Popeye, for the time-being) had published a paper in an international journal. (Publications in International Journals improves one’s grade by a huge margin). Another guy, who goes by the name of Devil Ronny, was his teammate. Apparently, Devil Ronny didn’t budge a finger to help Popeye in any matter related to this publication. Popeye had even shelled out some cash for the publication, and Ronny didn’t even bother to clear his debt. Hours became days. Days became weeks. Weeks turned into months. When the time for HSS evaluation finally arrived, Devil Ronny finally woke up and knocked on Popeye’s door (figuratively). He convinced Popeye that he’d repay the money after he obtained his grade, thanking Popeye profusely for his help. His words were: “I will gladly pay you Tuesday for your paper today.” Well, Tuesday arrived and poof…just like that, it was gone; Devil Ronny obtained a grade he didn’t deserve but no debt was cleared. So, Devil Ronny, if you’re reading this (I’m sure you aren’t), Popeye asked me to inform you that if you don’t repay him…

Meanwhile, Jinkchak celebrated the third year of its existence with much fervor. The placement season continued as usual, with appointments and disappointments. Off-campus placement was the new kid on the block. Apart from that, I cannot seem to recall any other incidents that are worthy of your attention.

Fast forward to the present. It’s now June, 2013 AD. We wrote our last exam on June 3^rd. In the days leading up to the “final” final exam, I guess most of us weren’t really in the mood to study. Some of us were confused. The end was finally here. To be happy or not to be happy, that was the question, and I’m afraid there really wasn’t any solid answer. After the exam was over, students bid each other farewell, wondering if they would meet the other person again (if at all). It was a grave moment and one that will never be forgotten. The most common question being asked was, “When is your joining date?” This date determined how many holidays one would have before one began one’s journey down a new chapter of life (job or higher studies).

I know this has been rather a long article, and I do apologize for taking up so much of your time. But I couldn’t help it. After all, I’m not sure when I’ll get another opportunity to write so much, considering that there are no more semesters left to enjoy in RVCE. I tried my best to arrange the segments constituting this post in chronological order, all to no avail. If the statuses (many of which did a remarkable job of taking us down memory lane), written by final year students and appearing in your News Feed on Facebook, are anything to go by, it’s all over! I’m done here. I have finished what I had to say…but wait…I still find it hard coming to terms with the fact that it’s all over. Well, it’ll be quite some time before I accept this fact – until then, Jinkchak will continue churning out articles that may or may not suit your fancy. You know why this ain’t over, folks? Because I ain’t finished yet! So, stay tuned!

Did I just contradict myself? Let me depart before I confuse your good self or myself any further. 😛 Adios! Until we meet again…